Hold Back My Heart
by Mona Love
Summary: Carson hears disturbing news while in London for the Season...
1. Chapter 1

Charles

It is a warm spring day in London. The family is in the midst of being served dinner when Thomas sidles up next to Mr. Carson. This is Mr. Barrow's first stay in London as Underbutler. He assumes he is being trained to take over the season for the aging butler. The man is certainly slowing a bit and perhaps considering retirement, but he knows Mr. Carson will never leave his place willingly. Now is his chance to unnerve the old man, he thinks slyly. He wants the job. Will do anything to undermine the Butler and cause the family to think he's beginning to tire in his duties. Barrow knows the only chance he has to succeed is the family suggesting Carson relax, retire, and enjoy his golden years.

He whispers quietly to his superior, not wanting the family to hear. "Interesting news from home today, Mr. Carson. Why did you not tell me our lovely Mrs. Hughes was walking out with Haxby's new estate manager?"

He watches as the older mans face drops and eyes widen in shock. Thomas knew it would come as a surprise to him. Knew she would not tell him in their many letters. He recovers quickly. "Well, it's neither my business, nor yours Barrow. You may go decant the dessert wine." He dismisses him and Thomas watches the unflappable butlers shoulders hunch and eyes begin to get glassy. He almost feels sorry for him. Almost. If he can't have his love. Why should this arrogant, condescending man?

Charles stares off at the wall, feeling the panic race through him now. She can't be? She wouldn't! Not after all this time together. Who is he kidding. Together! He scoffs at himself. He has never... She has never... For all he knows she has no deep feelings of love for him. Yet, he knows it's not true, knows she loves him. Has known for some time now. She has always been there for him, caring for him. His equal, his opposite, the other solid pillar holding up the great house of Downton. He feels as though he could be sick. Surely Thomas was jesting? Just trying to rile him, perhaps. There was no way his beautiful, loving, housekeeper would be walking out with another man. And an estate manager, no less. He knew of the man, 'they' had met him in the village even. Late fifties, tall, dark graying hair, broad shouldered. A Mr. Ian Tavish. He thought back and knew he should have taken notice immediately to the attentions the man was bestowing on his housekeeper. He was furious. What would they have in common? Who was the man but a ... Well, he was employed, kind, intelligent, widowed, charming, Scottish. Good Lord, I've lost her! Trying to keep full composure, his mind races! He can feel his breath shortening and his chest tightening. "Control yourself", he silently commands, but is unable to stand any longer and turns, hunching over the sideboard.

"Carson! Are you quite alright?" Lady mary nearly shouts. Concern in her voice as she stands and heads towards him quickly.

"Yes. Yes, of course! My lady. Please do sit. I do not wish to..."

Thomas steps in. "I'm sorry, Mr. Carson. I do beg your pardon, my Lady. It may have been my fault. I suppose I upset him by speaking out of turn."

"Well whatever could you have said, Thomas?" She glared at him and he knew it was his chance.

"I only conveyed that news from home said Mrs. Hughes has been walking out with A gentleman in our absence." Thomas stated matter of factly.

Gasps came from around the room! "Thomas!" Carson growled. "Do keep your idle gossip to yourself and collect the dessert wine."

"Of course, Mr. Carson," he turned smirking to himself.

Mary turned to see her devoted butler and friend visibly shaken. She couldn't keep her eyes from him. He had definitely confirmed what she had believed for quite some years now. He was in love with Mrs. Hughes. Did they have an understanding, an unspoken commitment? Knowing Carson as she did, an illicit affair seemed highly unlikely. Although she did wonder...

...

Charles excused himself after dinner and left Thomas to tend the family. The news had hit him hard. Could this possibly be true? Would she marry the man? Would she leave him? How could this happen? His heart was just waking up. He could feel the walls come tumbling down around him. For her, because of her. He thought everything had changed between them after Griggs came, after he told her of his past. He had shared more with her than he ever had before, then he ever had with anyone. He missed her. Her smile, her voice, her kind eyes so full of care. The gentle curves of her body and the teasing sway of her hips. Her pushing and pulling of him. Her guidance and reprimands. He couldn't wait to get home to her. Was determined this would be the last season he would be parted from his beloved housekeeper. He wanted to get to know her better. To take his time uncovering her secrets and desires. He would not rush her. However, he would no longer waste the precious time they had left with one another. He would discover the inner workings of her heart and soul. To earn the love he already knew he had from her. But did he have that love now? Had he ever had it? What if he had lost her after all this time. He would have no one to blame but himself and stubborn and foolhardy reticence. Why did he not tell her before he left? He knows she would have waited for him. He assumed she was going to be waiting for him as she always has. He would not, could not blame her for giving up on him...


	2. Chapter 2

_Hello again, and thanks to all who reviewed and left such kind messages for me :). It has been a while since I've attempted a new fic, and I was very touched and a bit shocked to realize my stories have been missed. Please keep reviewing. I do love the feedback, and I must say it does light a fire under me to keep up on my writing. Thanks again, Mona xo_

Elsie

She met him for the second time when they were both in the village. He had walked into Downton's tea shop looking for a bite, and smiled brightly when he noticed her sitting at a table by herself. She had invited him to join her for tea and that is where it began. The kind and good hearted man became her friend. He made her laugh. They spoke of home. Rolling green hills, cliffs, seas, tastes of seasons, their families, their lives. Never had she spoken so openly with Charles. There was always a wall up, an unspoken understanding of keeping their distance. Her to save her poor heart. Him to keep his dignity and honor intact. True, those walls between the housekeeper and butler were slowly starting to crumble, but she still held no hope, no reason to believe she would ever have more of him. There were no walls or drawn lines with this man. She found him interesting and intelligent, and they got on together quite well. He was a couple years younger than herself and extremely handsome. He was tall, had a large masculine frame, a dark head of graying hair, deep brown eyes. She thought he looked very much like a slightly younger version of her Butler. He could have his choice of any single woman in the surrounding villages, and so she assumed he eventually would. She thought perhaps he was just lonely at the moment and needed a friend and companion. They became that for each other. She did not feel the passion or lust for him that she felt for Charles Carson, but she was certain Ian Tavish had only friendship in mind as well when it came to her. She would meet him in the village for lunch, he would come to the house for tea. Soon they were the talk of the town. In such a small village any news about prominent locals moved fast. Him being the estate manager for Haxby, and Mrs. Hughes the Housekeeper of the Abbey, meant they were well known.

...

One evening late in the season, Beryl had warned her against the friendship. "Elsie, love. What would you do if news of you two reached Mr. Carson in London?"

"First off, Beryl. There is no news to be spread, Ian...Mr. Tavish and I are just friends. You know that. And secondly, why would it concern Mr. Carson at all? He doesn't much care what I get up to when he's home, let alone during the season when he's away."

"Oh, come on now, you know that's not true." Beryl offered trying to comfort her friend. She knew how Elsie felt about Charles, even if the woman would never admit it.

"Oh do I? I honestly don't, Beryl." She replied sadly. "He'd certainly be concerned that I was upholding a level of propriety appropriate for the Housekeeper of Downton Abbey." She mocked in her best Carson impersonation, adding a forced smile. But inside she was breaking. Her chest tightened with the realization that he would not mind. That if she actually was being courted by the handsome estate manager, Charles would wish her well and send her on her way. Even if he felt the deepest of love for her, he would never tell her. Never break propriety, or choose her over the family. "It doesn't matter anyway, Beryl. I will be meeting Ian in the village for lunch tomorrow. People may say what they like. We have nothing to be ashamed of. I've found a friend in a fellow Scottsman. He's really a very nice man, don't you think?"

"I do indeed. A very nice man. And also a very determined man." Beryl said, her gaze implying more than her words. "You just be careful when it comes to him. Fellas that look that good usually get what they want...if ya know what I'm saying." She adds, collecting the tray and giving Elsie one last glance over her shoulder as she heads back to the kitchens.

"Beryl Patmore!" Elsie feigns shock, as her smile betrays her and giggle escapes her lips. Whatever was she going to do with that woman? She was forever putting ideas in Elsie's head. Always trying to convince her Charles had greater feelings for her than he conveyed. Se knew he cared for her, but love was an entirely different feeling. Love is what she felt for him. She tried to shake Charles from her thoughts and focus on her lunch date tomorrow. Was it a date? She never really considered their meetings to be dates. She certainly didn't think he was courting her. Had he ever given her any signs of wanting more? Of course he would offer his arm. He would insist on paying for all meals. He always commented on her outfit or hair. Elsie gasped out loud as she came to the realization she was being courted. She was allowing herself to be escorted all around Downton and courted. What would Charles Carson say, indeed?

...

The smile on his face grew as she neared him. "Oh dear" Elsie thought as she watched him walk towards her and extend his arm for her to take.

"Hello, Elsie Hughes. You are too pretty today to look so downhearted. How are you?" Ian's Scottish brogue inquired after her, his eyes never leaving her face as he led her towards the bench across the street. "Shall we?"

Elsie sat down upon the bench and Ian joined her, turning slightly so he faced her. "Thank you, Mr. Tavish. I'm quite alright. I do apologize. My mind must be somewhere else today." She smiled nervously as she tried to assess his intentions towards her.

"What is bothering you, my friend? I can tell you are out of sorts." He asked softly, gently taking her hand in his. He really did seem so sweet and thoughtful.

Elsie pulled her hand away nervously, but not before several people witnessed the exchange. "I..I am very sorry, Ian...Mr. Tavish. I, well I began to realize that we may have unintentionally caused some gossip to spread about town. People are saying we are... well they are saying that..." Elsie fidgeted uncomfortably as she tried to find the words to address the issue.

"Are you worried people are talking of my courting you? Is that what you're trying to say?" Ian asked shyly as he once again reached for her hand. "Because if you are wondering what to call this. If you are wondering of my intentions Elsie, I will tell you this is true. I value our new friendship greatly, and if that is all you wish from me, I will understand. However, if there is even the tiniest shred of hope you may feel something more for me, please give me a shot. Let me at least be given the chance to win your heart."

Elsie's heart raced as she watched this handsome and kind man before her. Never in her life did she think she would experience this kind of moment. She felt as if she stepped right out of the pages of one her novels. "Ian...Ian I ... I don't know what to say. I don't know if I can give you what you need. It's complicated. I ...I. ". Elsie stumbled over her words, unsure of what she felt for him, not knowing if she could ever move past what she felt, what she feels for Charles.

"It's your Butler, isn't it?" He whispers. His confidence deflating before her very eyes. "The man I saw you with in the village the first time we met?"

"It is." She whispers back to him looking at their joined hands. "But it's not what you think. We have no understanding. That is, he holds no affection for me, he does not..." Elsie started to choke up and tears began to form in her eyes.

Ian pulled her into his embrace and held her as he whispered in her ear. "Then he is a fool, Elsie. He doesn't deserve you, and I want a chance to prove that to you."


	3. Chapter 3

He can't seem to work. He sees the numbers on the page, but it all becomes a blur as he imagines her face, her swaying form walking into the open arms of this Mr. Tavish. The image haunts him every time he closes his eyes. He should be hoping the man loves her, cherishes her, treats her like the lady she is, is willing to give her everything he wishes he could. He should not be sitting at his desk fantasizing all the ways he could kill the man. How he could commit the murder with his bare hands and hide the body in Downton's woods. He shakes his head, trying to rid his mind of the wayward thoughts. He pulls out his stationary and begins to write to her. If this is true, if she is walking out with the man, he needs to send her some kind of assurance that he is thinking of her. That he is spending every day in her absence longing to see her face again. To hear her soft Scottish lilt caress his ears. To look into the deep blue pools of her eyes and lose himself in her. He loves her, he needs her. He is determined to do whatever it takes to keep her with him.

_My Dearest Elsie,_

_Our time in London is nearing it's end and I am most relieved. I wish nothing more than returning to Downton and my normal life, with you. Though I do not say it as often as I should, I appreciate your care and all you do for the house, myself, and everyone in it. You are a truly amazing woman, Elsie Hughes. In all my life, I have never met someone as kind and lovely as you. I miss you more with every passing day. When I heard of your walking out with the new estate manager, Mr. Tavish, I certainly felt as if my heart had sunk. I'd never known such an incredible, all consuming fear. Please tell me this is not true. Please tell me that you have not abandoned me. I see no future for myself if you are not in it. When I imagine my life, it is always with you at my side. Please be waiting for me, my love. My heart is, and always has been, yours._

_All my love,  
Charles_

No, no, no.. Ridiculous, old fool! How could you even write the words! He picks up the paper, folds it, and sets it to the side. Too intimate, too out of character. He's trying desperately to find the words to keep her at Downton, to keep her his. He tries again...

_Dear Mrs. Hughes,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I am happy to say our season is drawing to close and we shall be home soon. I hope to find everything as it should be upon our arrival. I have no doubt you've kept the house running very smoothly in my absence and I look forward to seeing you and discussing new events in our lives. How I look forward to our nightly chats and glass of wine. I do have something very important I wish to discuss with you once we are all settled in. I have missed home greatly this season._

_Sincerely,  
C. Carson_

He sighed as he read the letter again. "That's the best you can do old chap? Pathetic!" He thought to himself. He hopes she can read between the lines. That she will know what he means when he writes he misses home greatly. For it is her he misses greatly, she is his home. She has always been his safe place, his rock, the one person in the world he could be his true self around. Well, as true as he could be without hurting them both. How many times has she given him a look that silently begs for more. And each time he turned away, closed himself off. And for what, for a this family he serves? He has loved and respected the family nearly his whole life. Has given everything to them. Has kept nothing for himself. He is becoming old, lonely, bitter, full of regrets, and most disturbingly..resentful. He doesn't want to hold onto these feelings anymore. He knows his only hope at happiness is being honest with himself and with her. He folds the paper neatly and places it on his desk. Letting his mind wander for a moment, he pauses before picking up the letter and placing it in the envelope. With a seal and stamp, it is ready to go.

...

Elsie sits at her desk and pulls the letter from Charles out of her pocket. She runs her fingers along the name addressed on front. Mrs. Elsie Hughes. Seeing her first name written in his script always causes her to smile. Such a simple, innocent gesture. But so very touching to her. She hopes one day she will open the letter and find the name Elsie written lovingly across the top. She knows it will never happen, but still it does not keep her from hoping. She holds onto this hope, even as another tries to win her heart. She slides open the envelope and pulls the letter from its sleeve. Opening it carefully, she gasps as she sees the first line...

_My Dearest Elsie,_

_Our time in London is nearing it's end and I am most relieved. I wish nothing more than returning to Downton, and my normal life with you. Though I do not say it as often as I should, I appreciate your care and all you do for the house, myself, and everyone in it. You are a truly amazing woman, Elsie Hughes. In all my life, I have never met someone as kind and lovely as you. I miss you more with every passing day. When I heard of your walking out with the new estate manager, Mr. Tavish, I certainly felt as if my heart had sunk. I'd never known such an incredible, all consuming fear. Please tell me this is not true. Please tell me that you have not abandoned me. I see no future for myself if you are not in it. When I imagine my life, it is always with you at my side. Please be waiting for me, my love. My heart is, and always has been, yours._

_All my love,  
Charles_

Tears were pouring down her face. She looked around her room as her emotions consumed her. What was she to do? What would she say? She did not have time to write to Charles. He would be home before her letter would even reach him. Yet, she could not just sit here knowing what she now knew and not be able to talk to him. Should she call the house in London? What would he say to her? Would he confess over the phone as he did in her letter? She looked back to the letter, reading it again. Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her. Maybe this was a cruel joke. But no, it was his hand, his determined and perfect scroll gliding across the page as he confessed his love. She is slightly irritated that after all these years, he writes it in a letter. He could have waited and told her when he was home. Looked into her eyes as he spoke the words. Held her... Kissed her. She touched her fingers to her lips imaging what it would feel like to have Charles' against her own. Her chest rose and fell heavily as she imagined his kiss, his touch, his arms wrapping around her body. Why confess now? Why so suddenly? Did he really think she would be throwing him over for another man? That the minute he takes off for the season, she forgets about him. Did he think her so easily swayed by the attentions from another? It's true she never thought Charles would ever confess his feelings for her. Would never admit to such an improper breech of propriety and standards by allowing a intimate relationship between the two, but still, he should know in his heart she would stay with him always. Would have stayed with him forever. Even if only friends. She's glad now she has this time before she sees him. She needs to sort through these feelings before she faces Charles again...

_Thank you all so much for your reviews. They really do keep me going :) xoxo _


	4. Chapter 4

His heart is racing as he packs his final suitcase. He reaches for the small silver picture frame on his nightstand, smiling down at the lovely woman in the photo before placing it gently into the suitcase. He couldn't wait to be home and see her smiling face and hear her sweet Scottish brogue. He's sure when Elsie had gifted him the frame she had no idea he would immediately replace the photo of Alice with one of her own. Why would he need to stare at a woman from his past, when he could gaze at the lovely woman of his present ad future. She really had no idea of the depth of his adoration for her, but how would she. He had never crossed that line between them. He had hoped he always showed her he cared for her deeply as a friend and respected colleague, but more than that he could never offer her.

It's true he had wanted her from the moment he laid eyes on her, all sass and fire, confidence and beauty. He knew within days she felt the same. They only needed to be in the same room and could feel the heat and tension passing between them. But to have started an affair behind closed doors would have damaged both their self respect and worth. He would never have dreamt of tarnishing her sweet and honest nature. To have married her would have been the end of their livelihoods. They started their relationship at a crossroad, where the only safe path was the straight and narrow. To go left or right would cause ruin for both. Theirs was a love contained before it even started. Trapped within each and buried deep down never to be allowed to surface. Their were many times over the years it had been absolute torture to suppress their longing for one another. At times it had taken everything in his power to not pull her to him and kiss her senseless. To not grab her by her hips and drop to his knees begging for her touch. He never considered himself a pathetic man, but when it came to Elsie Hughes, she unknowingly held the power to crush his soul. Alice Neil leaving him for another had injured him. But if Elsie Hughes chose another, he would certainly die.

Charles said his goodbyes to the London house staff and left for his train. In only five short hours he would be walking through the doors of Downton to see his beloved Housekeeper. "Mrs. Hughes." He whispered to himself as he sat alone on the train. "Elsie." He said, trying out her name. He was bound and determined come winter her name would slide from his lips easily as he held her close in his arms. "Elsie Hughes, I love you." He said quietly as he stared out the window.

...

The wait for Charles was testing Elsie's nerves to the full. She had been up all night tossing and turning. Charles Carson was coming home today. What would he say to her? How would he greet her upon his arrival? The romantic in her played out elaborate scenarios of him pulling her into his arms, his lips crushing down onto hers as he confessed his love. The realist in her knew he would greet her as always, waiting until they were behind closed doors to discuss his letter and intentions. Where would they go from here now that she knew what was in his heart? The only thing she was certain of was that she would leave him to make the first move. To bring up the letter and speak to her of what he had written. She would do her best to show him she was more than eager to receive his love, and give hers in return.

"Oh Elsie! Sit down before you make me dizzy." Beryl orders her as she paces her sitting room floor. "He'll be here in half an hour at most. You look like a lass on her wedding day! You're making even me nervous."

"I can't help it Beryl. I haven't seen him in so long." She pauses, as if lost in thought. "Things will be different. He assumes I'm walking out with another man."

"Well, I hate to be the one to break it to ya. But technically, you are." Beryl says with a smirk, as she sips her tea.

"That's really not helping, thank you very much!" Elsie snaps at her friend as she hears a soft tapping on her door. She smooths her hands down the front of her favorite black dress and nervously folds her hands in front of her. "Come in." She says sweetly, a big smile on her face as she expects to see Charles walk through the door.

"Oh! Ian.. Mr. Tavish! To what do I expect the pleasure of your visit." Elsie fumbles, glancing at Beryl, a look of sheer panic on her face. Charles will be here any minute. What would he think to come home and find this man in her sitting room. She silently scolds herself for even getting into this predicament. But she looks up at him and he is smiling so sweetly at her.

"Good afternoon, ladies." He addresses them both smiling. "I hope I'm not intruding. I was just out for a drive taking in the beauty around me, when it occurred to me the most beautiful sight I could hope to see today would be right here in this room." He finished, looking right at Elsie.

"Well... I'll just leave you right to it then." Beryl said standing. She glanced over at Elsie on her way out and mouthed "fifteen minutes".

Elsie was in a panic. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Charles would be here soon and find her with him. What would he think? What would he say? Then she looked back up into Ian's face. He was so kind, so incredibly handsome, and he wanted her. He cared for her and treated her so well. He was a good man. Maybe not the man for her, but also not one she wanted to hurt. "That's very kind of you, Mr. Tavish."

"Back to , I see. Have you been thinking then, Elsie? Have you been thinking about me? About us? Because honestly, you're all I can think about." He says reaching out and taking her hand.

"Oh, Ian. You really are such a wonderful man, and I don't want to hurt you. It's just this...this is really not a good moment to chat. You see, Mr. Carson should be home from London at any minute. I'm very glad to see you, but I must apologize and ask you to postpone your visiting for a bit." Her voice was soft and kind.

"Just a bit, Elsie?" He asks, his eyes full of hope.

"Yes. Just for a bit. I need a few days to get my footing back with him." She looks at his face and it shows kindness and understanding. "Do you understand?"

"I think I do. Will you see me out?" He asks, offering his arm.

"Of course I will." She smiles and takes his arm as he leads her towards the backdoor and out to his car. "I will see you soon, Mr. Tavish." Elsie says smiling. She can't seem to help herself and gives him a little wink.

Ian smiles back and just as he opens the door, he leans over and kisses her on the cheek. "Soon will not be quick enough, my beautiful lass."

...TBC

Thanks again for the wonderful reviews. They always bring a smile to my face and keep me writing :) xoxo


	5. Chapter 5

_Hello :). Sorry I was not able to post an update yesterday. Had a sick little man who had a rough night...and Mommy usually gets her writing done after bedtime. Hope this short chapter doesn't disappoint too much. It may be a rough road ahead for our favorite couple, but I think you all know how my stories usually end. Thank you for sticking with me and all the kind reviews. I appreciate them more than I can say :) xo_

Unbeknownst to Elsie, Charles had just arrived home and witnessed the entire scene. The Granthams car had picked him up at the station and they had just pulled in as he watched Elsie at the car with that Mr. Tavish. He had kissed her. She had smiled at him, flirted it seemed. And he had kissed her. His heart twisted into knots seeing her walk to the car on his arm. But when that man leaned in and kissed her cheek he felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach. It took every ounce of strength he possessed to not go over and pummel the man. Instead he walked into the house straight to his pantry and slammed the door behind him. Locking it for good measure. He didn't think anyone would dare approach him after he barged into the house in that state, but he would not risk it. He sunk into his chair staring at nothing. His eyes would not focus, his mind could not wrap around what he'd just seen, his heart felt like it was twisting in his chest. So it has happened. She has made her choice. He will never get the chance to clean up the mess he's made of them, that they made of their love. He hoped she would leave him be when she came back inside. That the others would warn her off before she came looking for him, but he knew she'd never be deterred. Had she ever been afraid of approaching him with anything...he thinks not. Even when he tried his hardest to keep her out, she would push down the barriers and let herself in. He was broken from his reverie by the gentle tapping at his door.

"Mr. Carson. Would you care for some tea?... Welcome home." Mrs. Patmore said kindly, as her knuckles rapped against the cold wood.

"No, thank you, Mrs. Patmore. I'm not feeling well at the moment." He managed, trying to pull himself out of the haze he was under.

Of course he wasn't, poor man. What had he seen? Beryl was at the door when Elsie walked in. Seeing the rows of luggage lining the halls, she knew that Charles had arrived. Her face lit up. "Where's Mr. Carson?" She asked looking at Beryl, a big smile across her face.

Beryl shook her head at Elsie. "Came storming in here not a minute ago. Locked himself up in his pantry. Said he's not feeling well." Beryl gave her a knowing look as she pointed towards the backdoor. "He must of seen you out there with him."

Elsie's hand flew up to her cheek. "Oh Beryl, he kissed me! Ian kissed my cheek!" There was a hint of panic in her voice as one hand stayed on her cheek and Beryl held the other. "What he must think? I have to speak to him. I have to tell him!" Elsie pulled away from beryl and headed towards Charles' pantry. She knocked lightly at the door. "Mr. Carson...Mr. Carson are you in there?" She said sweetly.

"Yes. Yes, Mrs. Hughes. Only... I'm a bit under the weather from the trip." He said quietly, his deep voice sounding through the door.

"Can I get you anything, Mr. Carson?" Her voice cracking slightly. Hurt he would not come to the door. That he was shutting her out.

His own tears fell down his cheeks listening to her sweet voice breaking as she said his name. "No thank you, Mrs. Hughes. I will speak with you later . I'm just... I'm going to rest a bit." He kept his voice firm and solid, despite feeling his world crumbling down around him.

"If you are certain. I'm glad you're home, Mr. Carson. Are you... Do you... Mr. Carson I.." She couldn't go on as she felt her grief and fear consume her. She turned and walked quickly towards her sitting room, careful not to be seen, as her tears began to fall. She let herself in and shut her door behind her, locking it as she rested her head against the cold, hard, wood. She shook as silent sobs wracked through her body. She thought of the letter, his words. He had asked her to be waiting for him. He begged her to choose him, to not walk out with Mr. Tavish. Had her foolish lapse of judgement ruined everything? Surely he'd give her a moment to explain what he'd witnessed. But it was her own fault, really. She chose to allow Ian Tavish into her life. Her vanity and ego being fed by his attention, flirting and flattery. Ian made her feel beautiful and desired, which ironically made her long for Charles even more. Elsie gathered her strength and pulled herself together, convinced she could fix things with Charles. Give him a proper welcome home and let him know he was the man she would choose. He had always been the only man she would ever want.

Charles did not bother to open his wine rota as he sat at his desk. He knew he wouldn't be able to focus on the pages in front of him. How would he ever be able to focus on anything again, but the absolute torture of realizing he'd lost the woman he loves most in the world. The pain he felt from seeing the confirmation of his worst fears, was still sharp as a knife . There was no doubt she was walking out with the man. He had kissed her. The image of Mr. Tavish smiling as he leaned down to kiss Elsie's face was still burned into his brain. What if she loved the man? It was a possibility his heart could not let him accept. How could he accept it? Without her, nothing in his life held any meaning. Regrets filled his heart. Why had he not fought for her? Why had he not sent the damn letter asking her to wait for him, to choose him? Picked up the phone and told her she was his whole world. His fear may have just cost him his happiness, but he would not allow his jealousy to ruin hers. If this man made her happy, truly happy. He would not stand in the way of her happiness...


	6. Chapter 6

Charles spent the next hour pulling himself together and trying to gather his courage and strength. Once he felt he was sound enough to be in her presence he decided to venture out of his room. He could see down the hall that her doorway was shut tightly. Was this a new development since he left, or was she hiding away as he had? He knew she was upset as she left his door. He could hear her the uncertainty in her voice as it wavered through the solid wood of his door. He slowly made his way towards her door. Pausing slightly, he instead turned away and headed for the stairs. Maybe it would do him good to take a turn around upstairs. Get his footing, put him right again, and back into his comfortable role as Charles Carson, Butler of Downton Abbey. He headed up the long staircase and entered the Great Hall. He immediately began to relax in his comfortable surroundings. The house was quiet and lifeless, but buzzing. It was completely brilliant and shining. Though the family was away, the hall was still filled with the fresh floral scents of the surrounding arrangements. As always, she had taken such great care to prepare the house. He was filled with a sense of pride and love. As he walked through the house he realized he didn't know how he would ever survive here without her. He loved the family dearly and would always remain devoted to them. However, as much as this beautiful place was his home, it only was so because she was there with him.

He walked to the front, opening the large door and walking out onto the steps. He closed his eyes breathing deeply, the fresh air of home filling his lungs. He was interrupted by the sound of her tiny, tight steps crossing the room. She was heading his way, and as much as he wanted to quickly shut the door between them and make his escape, he knew he would have to face her sooner or later.

"Welcome home, Mr. Carson." Her Scottish lilt was soft and as sweet as he had ever heard. He knew she was being gentle with him. A nervousness in her voice he had only heard a few times over the years.

"Thank you, Mrs. Hughes," he said turning his head slightly in her direction, but careful not to look at her. He knew it would be his undoing. "I'm very glad to be home again. It was a long season."

"It is very nice to have you home." She said softly, still at at his side as she watched his face. It was killing her that he would not look at her. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes, thank you. Much better." He said turning back into the house. He looked down as he waited for her to accompany him. "I should get downstairs and see that all the cases are taken up and unpacked properly."

"No need, Mr. Carson. I've had Thomas and the boys take everything up and the maids are unpacking now." She paused before beginning again, staring at him as he continued to look off towards the stairs. "It's very nice out and we are free until the family returns tomorrow. Would you like to join me for a walk so we can catch up?"

He paused momentarily, trying to come up with a reason to refuse her. If he dared to stay near her, he couldn't trust himself to keep his feelings hidden. He finally looked at her to respond and his heart broke as he found her eyes glassing over with unshed tears.

"Please." She said quietly, looking into his eyes.

"I would enjoy that, Mrs. Hughes." He said to her, his facade falling as she continued to look into his eyes. "I have missed..."

She held her breath. Was he going to tell her? Would he say it now?

"I have missed...home." He said as he motioned for her to exit. He followed her out onto the drive and they began to walk towards the gardens.

They were silent as they walked side by side. The tension was so thick it could form a bridge between them. This new and unusual feeling between them was painful for both. She was his most trusted and beloved friend. If he could not open up to her, he had no one. He would become almost inhuman, a shell of himself. She was the only person in the world to see a glimpse of the man he truly was inside. He knew he needed to break the silence. Give her a chance to explain everything.

"How was your season, Mrs. Hughes?"

She was still nervous as she answered. Not knowing exactly what answer he was seeking. "Oh, much like every other. The house got a thorough cleaning. We even made time for the attics. We lost a maid to a young farmer near the village. But you know how that goes."

"I do indeed." He said quietly, before blurting out the question that had been plaguing his mind. "But what I'm wondering is, are we to lose our Housekeeper in this way as well?"

The question stopped her dead in her tracks. She froze, not knowing what to say. Confused that he could he even think her capable of deserting him. "Why... Why would you ever ask that?"

"I suppose when one comes home to find the housekeeper in the drive kissing her suitor, the question does seem to play through ones mind." He delivered coldly avoiding her eyes. "Unless that's a common occurrence in my absence?" He added accusingly, his wounded pride pushing him too far. As soon as the words left his mouth he was silently cursing himself. Why did he always have to go this way with her? Get his digs in. Find the words he knew would hurt her most. He knew it was to protect his own heart, and perhaps to try and give her just a small taste of the pain she was causing him. He glanced her way to see the shocked look on her face, then the flames shooting through her eyes. Her back stiffened, her nostrils flared. Her lips tightened... And then she looked at him.

Her anger built at his unkind words, but then she caught his eyes. She could see through him. She looked into his face and saw the feelings he always tried so hard to hide. He was hurting, and it was she who had hurt him. She held his gaze, the raw and painful emotions passing between them. It would never be easy with him. He had sent her a beautiful letter confessing everything she had ever hoped to hear from him. But the man before her was not the man who sent the letter. Would he ever be able to be that man? He loved her and yet he continued to hurt her time and time again. He did not wait for an explanation from her. Instead he chose to assume the worst, to think so little of her. She wondered, was it truly love that brought that confession? Or was it his fear of change, of losing his housekeeper and his perfectly consistent and comfortable life? She could not even bring herself to respond, for she feared once her mouth opened, her words would push him even further away.

He watched as her shoulders slumped in defeat, a reaction he had never seen from her. He quickly started back up. "Of course it's not. I do apologize, Mrs. Hughes. It's only I had heard you were walking out with Mr. Tavish over the season. I... I do wish you every happiness, if that is where you've found it. It's none of my business, of course. But as your friend, I do wish you every happiness. Well I suppose we've been gone long enough. Yes. We can discuss this later if you like. I best get back." And he slowly turned from her and walked away.


	7. Chapter 7

He turned and walked away from her. It had nearly killed him inside to say those words to her. He knew they were right. That he should be wishing her all the happiness life could afford her. He only knew that if this was her path, he had no hope for any happiness of his own. He had never in his life loved like he did Elsie. She was the voice in his head, the beat of his heart, the breath in his lungs. She filled the spaces in him and made him whole. Could he honestly let her go without a fight?

Elsie could not bring herself to follow him. Instead she turned the opposite way and headed towards the village. She did not have a coat, nor hat, but the warmth of spring was comfortable enough for the short journey. Tears poured down her cheeks. She had no idea where she was going, she only knew she could not head back to the house. She could not face Charles again. He had hurt her, she had hurt him. She had no idea where they stood or who they were to each other anymore. Everything seemed like it was such a mess. Wen she arrived in the village she went to sit on the very bench where Ian had confessed his feelings for her. Was she a fool to refuse him? He was kind, generous, affectionate, handsome. He was, in short, everything a woman could ever want in a man. Yet she still could not bring herself to feel more for him than friendship. For she had already found everything she wanted in a man, in Charles Carson. She knew behind the blustering stubbornness and concrete walls, held a passionate and kind heart. But would he ever give it to her?

She was disturbed by a familiar voice. "Elsie. What are you doing here, Lass?"

Elsie looked up at him with red rimmed eyes and a quivering lip. "I couldn't stay there. Things are a mess, Ian."

"I suppose I am part of that problem. Oh I am sorry my sweet girl." He said, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands. "I wish you could feel differently. I wish he didn't have this hold on you."

"So do I..." She whispered quietly. "So do I."

...

After sitting a bit and chatting, then taking tea at the local tea shop, Ian offered Elsie a ride back to the Abbey. She was reluctant to accept, worrying what Charles would think if he saw them together again. But Ian would not accept a refusal now that the skies were beginning to darken. She wondered if Charles even cared where she was or what she was doing.

"Where is that blasted woman!"He thought as he made his way across the grounds for the second time this evening. He had checked the gardens, the lake, she was nowhere to be found. He went back to the house again. It was very likely she was up in one of the rooms going over her maids work. He went back to his pantry, leaving the door wide open so he could hear her if she should make her way back downstairs. He wasn't sure what he would say to her when he saw her next, he only knew he had to make things right. They couldn't go on in this manner. If anything they had been each others closest friend for many long years. He would make her see that. Show her the glimpses of the man he knew she loved.

...

Hours later, Charles was startled by the backdoor opening. He heard Elsie's Scottish brogue whisper down the hall. "Thank you, Ian. I best get inside now. Have a good evening."

"Again!" Charles raged in his mind as he stood at his desk. "Can the man not stay away!? Of course he couldn't." He thought. "Who would want to ever part from that beautiful creature once they go to know her."

He heard the deep teasing brogue that matched her own. "Come on now, what kind of friend would you be if you did not offer a hot drink before sending me back out there."

"Come along then." She laughed as he followed her inside.

Charles quickly walked out of his room, nearly running straight into Elsie as the couple made their way down the hall. His hands went to Elsie's upper arms to steady her just as Ian's did the same. The two men's hands touched and they both pulled back quickly. If there was anything Elsie Hughes disliked, it was an atmosphere. And that is certainly what they had all found themselves in.

"You're back, then." Charles said nervously, stating the obvious.

"Ahhh, Mr. Carson, Mr. Tavish. I believe you both remember meeting. Would you care to join us for some tea, Mr. Carson. Mr. Tavish has just given me a ride home from the village." Elsie said quickly. "Why don't you both go into the hall, I'll be back in just a moment."

Elsie hustled down the hallway and into her room where she could finally take a breath. How did she get herself into this mess?!

Charles walked into the servants hall as told. Wasn't he always doing exactly as she told him. Always taking her orders, bending to her will. And still it wasn't enough. She had to go out and dig up 'this one'. He turned to the man, willing himself to remain proper and courteous.

"So, Mr. Tavish. How are things at the Haxby estate?" Charles said politely, trying his hardest to hold back the sheer hatred and jealousy he felt towards the man.

"Quite well, Mr. Carson. Although I have been spending much of my time at Downton as of late." He chuckled and smiled smugly. He wanted to show this man his intentions. That he wanted Elsie and would stop at nothing to have her. He was now also thoroughly convinced this smug and pompous Butler was a more in love with Elsie than she suspected.

"So I've heard." Charles replied icily. The expression on his face making it clear how he felt about the man spending so much time in his domain. With his housekeeper.

"Elsie tells me you were in London for the season. Must be quite exciting to get away to the big city. Although there has been quite a bit of entertainment here this season. Elsie has been kind and welcoming... Very kind." He smiled slyly again. "But you must know that, being her 'Coworker' for so long."

Charles' fist clenched at his sides. This man was doing a fine job of provoking him. If he kept pushing, Charles didn't know if he would be able to hold back from knocking the mans teeth straight through his face. "That I do... 'ELSIE," he put emphasis on her name, the name he didn't dare speak to her face but felt appropriate to use as a weapon against this man in an attempt to put his claim on her, "and I have been very good friends for nearly twenty years now. In fact we were just discussing your 'new' friendship the other day, Mr. Tavish." Charles tried to bait him.

"Oh now, don't take it to heart too much, my man." Ian said a little too cockily for Charles' liking. "I'm sure you and Elsie will remain lifelong 'Friends', no matter where she goes, or what she decides to do." He added threateningly.

"Yes, Mr. Tavish, 'we' certainly will!" Charles said taking a step closer to the man, his voice deepened. "I am certain nothing will ever get in the way of Elsie and I."

They didn't know Elsie was just around the corner eavesdropping on the entire conversation. She held her hand over her mouth in an attempt to control herself from speaking. "Elsie!?" The man could not even call her by her name and yet can throw it about in some sort of twisted rutting match over her. She was livid! Once again Charles had her confused as ever and completely filled with anger! This man will be the death of me, she thought as she continued to listen. She heard Charles deep voice turn harsh as he answered Ian's taunting mention of their friendship. She rounded the corner quickly just as Charles was stepping towards Ian.

"Well, I'm back." She said smiling. "Shall we have our tea now? I hope you two got to know each other a bit better, I'm sure you have much in common."

"I truly doubt that." Charles muttered under his breath. As Ian stepped closer to Elsie.

"Ahhh. So you are. And a lovelier sight I have never seen." Ian smiled warmly at her, placing his hand on the small of her back to lead her to her seat. Which he gentlemanly pulled out for her to sit on.

"Oh, Ia..Mr. Tavish. You are too kind." Elsie said smiling. She wanted so badly for Charles to be jealous. She wanted him to see that she was wanted. An attractive woman to be desired and lusted after. She was afraid she would always remain the kind old housekeeper in his eyes, even if he loved her, it had been so many years since she felt he had wanted her. She knew he had once, many years ago. When they were both younger with more fire burning through them. She glanced up at him as he watched Ian place his hand on her and she could see the anger written all over his face. If only she knew for certain what the anger was for. She instantly felt guilty for using Ian in this way. Yes, he had taunted and teased Charles a bit, but she was sure he only did it out of jealousy. She knew where she stood with Ian. It was a comfortable feeling, but it was not love.

Charles burned with jealousy as he watched Ian place his hands on Elsie's back and hold her chair our for her. She smiled at him as the other man touched her. "The audacity" he thought. He felt as if she was toying with him. His Elsie would never be so cruel, would she? Charles couldn't keep his eyes off her and she smiled and chatted with both men. He also noticed Mr. Tavish could not keep his eyes off her. He imagined himself reaching over where the man sat, in HIS chair, next to HIS housekeeper, and closing his fingers around the mans throat. Certainly then he'd be able to stop his bloody staring and smiling. He could tell she was uncomfortable as she fidgeted in her seat, trying her hardest to give both men equal attention. Maybe he should up the game? What would she do then? He could hardly believe it himself when he slowly slid off his shoe and extended his foot under the table until it reached hers. She jumped slightly and glanced his way as he wrapped his foot around her delicate ankle and proceeded to caress gently across her sheer stockinged leg. He saw the flush rise in her cheeks and the rapid rise and fall of her beautiful chest. He was doing this to her. Causing her to feel this way.

She was shocked when she felt him under the table. His foot sliding so slowly along her leg. The simplest touch and she was already breathing heavily and imagining things she shouldn't. Her hands began to tremble a little and she nearly spilled her tea. "I'm so sorry. I'm getting very tired. I think it's time we say goodnight." She went to stand and nearly toppled over in her hurry.

Ian took her arm to steady her. "I guess so, my dear. Why don't you walk me to the door." He smiled and took her arm as Charles slipped his shoe back on and stood.

"Yes. Why don't you send off Mr. Tavish, I have some things we should go over in my pantry when you're done." Charles said smiling at Mr. Tavish. He felt power over the man now as he sent him on his way. "Good evening, Mr. Tavish. Do drive carefully." He said kindly as he imagined a hundred different ways to get rid of the man...


	8. Chapter 8

_Hello, my beautiful and wonderful readers and reviewers! I just wanted to pop in and say thanks so much for all the lovely reviews, follows, and favorites. I'm really enjoying this trip our Chelsie has me on, and am very glad you are all still sticking with us through these rough waters. I'm sure there will be happier times ahead for our favorite couple... just not yet :(. _

_Thanks again, Mona xo_

Charles sat behind his desk. His face was flushed with embarrassment and arousal. He was shocked by his actions. What would she say to him? She had looked so pretty sitting across him as her cheeks turned pink, and her full breasts began to rise and fall rhythmically underneath her prim and proper dress. She had looked every bit a lustful siren, her eyes silently beckoning him to proceed. He tried to shake the thoughts from his head as he felt his arousal stirring beneath his desk. He was startled by Elsie at his doorway. He looked up, expecting to see a smile and was met with a look that could stop a grown man in his tracks. She shut the door behind her and turned to him. "And just what in Gods name did you think you were doing in there, Charles Carson?" Elsie fumed, her Scottish lilt thick with anger.

Charles stood and came around from behind his desk. He was glaring at her now. "You certainly didn't seem to mind at the time." He countered, his voice deep and throaty with anger and lust. "You didn't pull away from me. Did you?" He stated leaning against his desk. Feeling a bit hurt by her reaction to his advancement, he added snidely. "Or were you unsure of who it was?"

He looked so smug. Elsie wanted to smack the look right from his face. She moved closer to him. "How dare you! I don't even know who you are right now! I've never seen such arrogance! The way you've acted towards me, the way you spoke to Ia-Mr. Tavish!" She was shaking with frustration now. Her mind muddled by her love for him. Even as her anger built, she could still feel her desire for him burning through her core. His simple gesture had unlocked a burning need she wanted him so desperately to satisfy.

He couldn't keep his eyes from her. All anger and heat. Her chest rising and falling so close to him. Her teeth biting hard into her bottom lip. "Oh your 'Ian' deserved everything I gave him!" Charles spoke back angrily. "If you would have heard the things he said. He implied you've been 'entertaining' him during my absence. Said you were 'very kind'." Charles said emphasizing his words as Ian had. "But then again, perhaps you were! I don't even know who this woman is I've come home to!"

Elsie was enraged by his accusation. She instinctively raised her hand to slap his face and he caught it mid-swing. He pulled her arm, bringing her to him. Their bodies touching, his other hand wrapping around her arm to hold her to him. Elsie's mouth parted and she exhaled, shuddering deeply. The passion and heat of anger mingled with lust and want. Feeling his strong hands on her and his solid chest pressed against her breasts she lifted her eyes to his. She was on fire for him.

Charles held her tightly to him. He was burning with scorching fury and lust, jealousy consuming him. He couldn't speak his apologies. Words could never fix what was between them now. He looked down into her pleading eyes, and he melted into her, slowly resting his forehead against hers, sharing their breaths. Moving his face against hers, he lay his cheek against her cheek. He breathed in her soft lavender scent. Gods how he had missed her. His breathing was shallow and labored as his arms began to slide around her and his lips sought the soft skin of her neck.

"Boom, boom, boom!" They broke apart in haste as they heard the knocking on the backdoor. Charles looked down as Elsie quickly exited his pantry. He tried hard to control the raging erection that was now pressing against his trousers. He had always prided himself on being able to control himself, yet having her gorgeous body pressed up against had him losing all his good sense and decency. He had lost control. Was about to do something he never thought he would. And now the moment was lost. Who could be at the door at this hour? He could hear her small steps heading toward the door and the turning of a key in the lock.

"Oh, Ian!" Elsie said, surprised. "Whatever are you doing back?"

Ian could instantly tell he walked in on something. "Hello again, Elsie. I seem to have forgotten my hat." He said smiling down at her. He saw Charles walk out into the hall from his pantry as Elsie collected his hat. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, no, not at all." Elsie lied. Not knowing Charles was in his doorway watching them.

"Well goodnight again, my beautiful Lass." He said softly taking her hand and bending slowly to kiss her lips.

Elsie pulled back instantly, but it was too late. Charles had witnessed him lean in to kiss her and was unable to look any longer. He retreated to his pantry and went to his desk. He pulled himself straight and began shutting out all thought and feeling from his mind. This would not happen again. He would not do this to himself. He would not lose himself and his pride to a woman. He should have known it would never work between them. It was just a foolish dream he had held onto for far too long. He started rebuilding his walls. He would not let her in again.

"I can't Ian. I'm so sorry. I just can't." She whispered so quietly to him.

"I will not push you, Elsie. But I'm not ready to give up on you." He said looking her in the eyes as he held tight to her hand. "I will be here for you if you need anything. I will be waiting."

"You are too good to me Ian. I don't deserve your affections." She spoke honestly to him. "You are a good man."

"That I am, Lass." He winked at her as he put on his hat. "Now don't you go forgetting that."

She laughed lightly at him as he walked out the door and into the night. She locked the door behind her, then promptly turned to lean against the cool wood. She was still on fire from her encounter with Charles. She could still feel the warm wetness of her center. The gentle humming in her chest. What would they have done if not for Ian's interruption? Should she go back to him? What would he say to her? What would they do? She needed to find out. She wanted him so badly. She walked into his doorway to find him at his desk. Papers strewn about the top as he pretended to be engulfed in his work. She knew he wasn't. That he was embarrassed by his actions and was making a retreat.

"Mr. Carson." She said softly.

"Yes, Mrs. Hughes." He said in a very dignified professional manner. Not looking up from his desk.

She waited a moment for him to say something...Anything. His silence hurt her more than any words he could have spoken. "Goodnight." She managed to speak softly, while inside her heart broke all over again.


	9. Chapter 9

He listened to her hurried steps on the stairs as she made her retreat. He was sure she came in to apologize and let him down easy. To tell him all about her understanding with Ian Tavish! He was relieved when she rushed off with only a goodnight on her lips. The lips he so desperately wanted to taste with his own. If Tavish hadn't interrupted he was sure he would have. Ian Tavish! The sight of the man leaning in to kiss her for the second time that day, burned into his brain. He didn't think he'd ever be able to shut his eyes tonight to go to sleep. So she had made her choice without giving him a second thought. He should have known when she did not deny it on their walk. When she just stood there silently and let him chatter on so stiffly about happiness and friendship. When she disappeared to spend the afternoon with that man instead of catching up with him. He felt like he was reliving his past all over again. A past he wished he could have forgotten, instead of being resurrected by her and thrust at him. She thought she had healed his heart when she helped with Griggs and Alice, but she had only made him realize even more the love he was missing with her. What he'd always been too scared to ask for. He would have to retreat back into himself. A form of self preservation he had perfected after those dark days, the days before Elsie Hughes showed up into his life. Never had he thought he would find himself there again because of her.

She stops on the stairs, pausing to collect herself. Her breath is uneven and she's not sure she can move another step. What is she doing?! He loves her! He wrote it in his letter. His flirtations tonight at tea. The desperate, passionate moment in his office. He loves you, you stupid cow! Where are you going? She can't do this. Can't bring herself to go to her room to sleep when there are so many things left unsaid between him. But his words had hurt her. Did he really think so little of her? That she would ever be intimate with another? Yet what was he suppose to believe when he came home to her and the first sight he'd seen was Ian kissing her cheek. This is his first night home to her and they had already made a mess of things. She needs to fix it now! There will be no waiting. No time for their wounds and hurt to fester inside them pulling them apart. She will be bold, hasn't she always been. She will bring up his letter, tell him what's in her heart. She sits on the staircase for a moment, gathering the courage to confront him. Tonight she will sink or swim, they will sink or swim together.

He hears the gentle tap at his door. It couldn't be her. He heard her walk up the steps a quarter hour ago at least. "Come in." He says in his most butler like voice. He is surprised to see it is Elsie back at his door. "Mrs. Hughes, I...I thought I heard you go up." She watches him. He is nervous now as he shuffles through the papers on his desk. "It does look like I have much to catch up on." She steps closer to his desk standing straight across from him, still not speaking.

Finally he looks up at her, still avoiding her eyes. He watches her exhale. "Mr. Carson. I don't want to fight. I don't want your homecoming to be ruined. Especially not by me. When I read your letter, Charles... When I read your letter saying you were coming home to me, I was so completely happy. I feel like everything has been a mess since you've walked through the door. What you saw earlier, out in the drive, it was not what you thought. I believe.."

He interrupts her. "There are many things that can be misconstrued Mrs. Hughes, but I do believe I know a lovers kiss when I see one. And just now in the hall when he kissed you, not two minutes after I, after we... Was that not what I thought, as well? Tell me, have you been letting Mr. Bates kiss you in that way in my absence, perhaps the Gardener, the Groom? Is that how we say goodbye now?"

He was being smug and pompous, hurtful. She had seen him like this before. Mainly with younger staff. Jimmy, Thomas, the girls in the kitchen. Never with her. Never had he talked down to her in such a manner. She was broken now. "You know that is not true. Why are acting in this way? In your letter you... Just earlier when you held me."

"Just stop!" He said loudly as he closed the book in front of him. He still would not look at her. "I think we should say goodnight. It's been a very long day for both of us and I think we both could use some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully it will bring some sanity back to us both. Now if you'll excuse me please. Goodnight, Mrs. Hughes."

Elsie turned from him quickly before he could see the tears in her eyes and nearly bolted for his door. She took the steps as quickly as her feet could take her. She was crushed, humiliated, and completely lost in her confusion. She made her way to her room and tore the clothes for her body. She wanted nothing more than to rid herself from everything associated with this day. She wished she could fall into her bed and wake to be able to relive this day. Oh how she would live it differently if given a second chance. No matter how sweet and kind. How good he made her feel. Ian Tavish would never have been welcomed into their home. The home she shared with Charles.

Tears poured down her cheeks as she stared at herself in the mirror. How had she gotten to this point in her life? How had she slowly built her life around a man when she had fully intended to focus solely on her position? She was lost to Charles, and it now seemed he did not want her. She pulled the pins from her hair and her soft brown curls fell down her bare back. She peeled the corset from her body and tossed her shift to the floor. She slid her undergarments off and she stood nude in front of her mirror. Her soul empty, her body bare, her tears falling. She went to her wardrobe and pulled her dressing gown down and wrapped it around her shivering self. She did not know if she would ever feel warm again.

Walking out into the hall she made her way to the washroom thinking a hot bath would soothe her trembling. She shut herself in the small shared bathroom and ran a steaming bath. Sliding the robe from her body she stepped into the hot tub, sitting herself on the edge as she adjusted to the hot temperature. She used her sponge to drag the water over her body as she prepared to slide into the steaming waters, her thoughts still on Charles. He had hurt her and her tears continued to fall, but she had felt so good in his arms. She could also feel how much he wanted her. His stiff member had pressed so solidly against her hip. She shudders just thinking of how it would feel inside her. She dips the sponge to her center and touches herself. She has done it before. The life of service is lonely and there have been times when release was necessary. Times like now. Every inch of her body was humming with anticipation. She thought of Charles and her one hand grasped the tub to steady herself on the edge, as the other rubbed wildly at the small nub of her center. She imagined Charles touching her, what it would feel like to have him inside, his hands all over her body. She dipped her hand down to wet the sponge and brought it to her breasts, the hot water pouring down her in sheets as her hand moved in circles against her throbbing center. Caught up in the moment she moaned Charles named. Biting her bottom lip as she tried to stop her cries. Her head fell back and she gasped his name as she came against her fingers, her body shuddering from the release. A deep groan startling her from her bliss, she looked up to see Charles in the doorway...

_Again, thank you all so much for the lovely and funny reviews! You are all fantastic, and I appreciate the support so much! Please, if you want to know what happens next, or have any ideas or requests, let me know! :) And a special thanks to my darling Happyheart :) My muse, and smut partner in crime! _

_Much love, Mona xo_


	10. Chapter 10

_Hi Lovelies :). So sorry about the lapse in updates the past couple days. I've worked about 48 hours in the last four days and have caught my little guy's cold :( ugh! I also apologize for not responding to all your lovely reviews this past chapter. I appreciate each and every one of them! You guys are great, and I love talking Chelsie with you! It's short update tonight :(. But more on the way tomorrow, if you'd like. Let me know :). Thanks so much, Mona xoxo_

Carson decided to head up to bed shortly after Elsie silently left his pantry. He made his way up the men's staircase and down the hall to his bedroom. He looked through the smokey glass pane of the door separating the men's and women's corridors. Just on the other side was Elsie's room. She was probably in there now. In tears from his boorish behavior. He wondered if he had ever caused her to cry before. He thinks not. He hopes not. His hand was on his doorknob, ready to enter his room, when he heard Elsie's voice. "Charles" she pleaded softly. He thought perhaps he was hearing things, but again he heard her call his name. She sounded like she was in distress. He went to his room and grabbed the spare key from his top drawer. Opening the door between the corridors he followed her cry down to the wash room. He paused for a moment, worried at what he may find. But what if she had fallen, was hurt in some way? He slowly opened the door...

"Mmm...Charles...Ohhh yess...Mmmm Charles!" Elsie moaned as she came. Her release causing her whole body to shudder. A deep groan startled her from her bliss, and still biting her lower lip, she lifted her head to see Charles standing in the doorway. "Oh! Mr. Carson!" Elsie gasped in surprise, her hand still at her center, her body still burning in ecstasy.

Charles stood frozen as he watched Elsie shivering with pleasure as her delicate fingers circled so sensually over the soft mound of curls at her center. He groaned as he scanned up and down her gorgeous bare flesh. He could not help but look. To take in every dip and curve. Every beautifully silky limb. "I..I heard you call my name! I thought...I just...I thought you needed something." Charles stammered. His face flushed in embarrassment and shock. He knew exactly what she was doing. Why she had called his name. The arousal stirred inside him, his trousers tightening as he once again tonight, became hard for this stunning siren before him. He wanted so badly to go to her, to touch and taste every lovely part of her luscious body. He felt as if he was caught in a trance, held tightly by the heat that seemed to radiate between them, an invisible cord or bond holding him where he stood. He still could not take his eyes away from her. He settled upon on her full, round, breasts. So smooth, their pink, peaked, nipples looking sweeter than any fruit he had ever tasted. He only gazed for moments before meeting her eyes.

Oh, how she needed something. Something only he could give her. Elsie watched Charles' eyes as he took in every inch of her bare form. His eyes were full of lust and heat, approval. His mouth was slightly parted, his breathing rapid, his fists clenching at his sides. She should be mortified to be caught in such an intimate situation by the very man who was the cause for her wanton behavior. She was not. She let him look. Take in whatever he would like. Watch her as she sat bare before him. Open and vulnerable, a sort of offering of peace, of defeat, of love. Without another word, she finally covered her breasts with her arm and turned her legs.

They held each others gaze for a moment before Charles reluctantly turned away, interrupted by the sound of a door creaking. Charles turned to see Miss Baxter's head peeking out her door. "Is everything alright, Mr. Carson?"

"Yes, yes." He said, stepping back from the washroom door. "Mrs. Hughes and I were just discussing a problem with the plumbing. Thank you. Everything is quite alright. Please, do go back to sleep, Miss Baxter." He added in his most dignified manner as she retreated into her room.

Elsie took this as cue to exit the tub and go to her dressing gown. Charles turned back. He was unable to keep his eyes from her as she gracefully lifted each shapely leg from the tub. Her beautiful wet body glistened as the soft light danced across her smooth, pale, skin. She was shocked that he so blatantly kept his eyes on her. Her hand still holding her sponge, she looked up at Charles still watching her, and flung the sponge directly at his head. It soaked his face, but finally brought him to his senses. He looked away and she stood up from the tub and quickly grabbed her dressing gown, pulling it around her.

He was soaked. His face red and shocked from her nudity, his staring, and the sponge assault. He moved closer to her, then backed away, as if scared. "Elsie I.. Oh, I heard you say my name. I thought you needed me. I didn't know. I didn't think." He turned stiff, formal. "I apologize Mrs. Hughes. I never... You are so... I've never seen...I should have... I'll say goodnight." Still terribly flustered he turned to leave, knocking into the door, then the frame. He glanced back for just a moment to see the corner of her mouth turn up in a sly smile.

She had him more shaken than she had ever seen. She knew he had liked what he'd seen. The way he couldn't take his eyes from her. The large bulge in his trousers. The catch in his breath. The arousal that hung in the air between them almost palpable. She wanted so badly to just follow him out the door and pull him into her room. She would undress him slowly, push him down upon her bed, then give them both what they so desperately craved from one another. Passion, connection, heat, release, but mostly...love.

He turned and walked back into the mens corridor, hesitating before locking the door behind him. Once in his room, he closed his eyes envisioning the sight he was certain he would never erase from his mind, or his heart...


	11. Chapter 11

Mere hours later, Elsie sat on her bed as the morning sun began to pass through her tiny window, illuminating the small bedroom she had spent the last two decades. The darkness of night always made things feel differently, released inhibitions and brought down barriers. In the light of day she was mortified by her actions, by what Charles had seen. He had seen all of her. Not just her body, but her want and desperate desire for him. His reaction had fueled her desire even more. The look in his eyes, the way his body reacted to hers. She had no doubt in her mind he had wanted her just as badly as she had wanted him. She just had no idea how he would react now. How would she even be able to look him in the eye? She giggled to herself as she remembered throwing the sponge at him. The look on his face! If anything, that image should get her through the day. She stood with a smile and love in her heart. She would see things right. Elsie would lead Charles to her, just a bit more gently than last night. She did not want to push too hard, or scare him away. He was always so slow and timid when it came to change. She needed to help him, to gently nudge him in the right direction. She was sure he would follow her lead. She also hoped that Ian would respect her wishes now and give her a bit of space. She did not want to hurt him, but knew she needed to set him straight once and for all.

Charles awoke with a throbbing erection. His dreams were filled with thoughts a naked and moaning housekeeper. My God, the way she said his name. It set him afire just recalling the purr of her soft Scottish lilt as she shuddered and convulsed, his name on her lips. He was not an indulgent man, but he knew he would not be able to survive a day near her without giving in and releasing his tension and need. He reached down and grasped himself firmly, stroking his length while imagining he was burying himself into the beautiful woman of last night. The soft, wet, shimmering siren with her beckoning lust filled eyes and parted mouth. It was only moments and he felt himself coming hard in his shorts. He felt a ridiculous boy, but knew it was necessary.

He reluctantly dressed for the day and paused for only a moment before opening his door. He would be fine. They would be fine. He put on his strict butler facade and made his way down to his pantry. He was glad he did not meet Elsie on his way. Though he attempted to, he still hadn't recovered from last evenings meeting. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to recover from seeing her in that way. It was all he could do to focus on the papers in front of him. His eyes kept closing and envisioning Elsie's naked and moaning form. How many years had he longed to see her in just that way. To be the cause of her lustful moaning. The past twenty years he had imagined how every inch of her body would look and feel. How she would sound moaning his name while he worshipped her body. He could feel his body once again begin to stir. He was almost proud of this recent youthful vigor. Now if only he could use this gift, instead of it merely taunting him.

"Mr. Carson, breakfast." He heard Ivy call as she tapped on his door. He stood and readied himself. She certainly would not cause a scene in front of the staff. He assumes they'll be perfectly safe until alone. Would she scold him for his blatant and intrusive staring? He recalled the small smile he'd seen on her lips as he stumbled out the door last night. She did not look angry at all. On the contrary, she looked quite pleased with herself. She always did have a lot of spirit and fire, he thinks as he enters the servants hall. He sees her and it takes his breath away, much like she always has. She sits prettily in her chair next to his. Her face is slightly flushed and her eyes are sparkling. "Good morning." He says in his most dignified manner as the staff all stands in his presence. He sits down and they follow his lead. He is near her now and a warmth flows through his body. He finally feels like he is home.

Elsie prepares his tea as usual as he butters her scone and places it on her plate. It is their way. Their special dance they have perfected for all these years. Little ways of showing their care for each other without crossing lines or boundaries. They continue in this manner even after all lines and boundaries have been blurred. He glances at her and her cheeks are still a beautiful pink. "Good morning, Mrs. Hughes." He says softly to her, making sure the others are deep in conversation and not looking their way. He doesn't notice the subtle eavesdropping and stare of Miss Baxter. "Are we all set to welcome the family home today?"

Elsie leans over to place his tea cup down and her fingers gently slide over the back of his hand and down to his wrist. She knows the large porridge pot is blocking their hands from the others. "Yes, Mr. Carson. I believe we are. I'm ready for things to get back to normal around here."

"As am I." He said quietly. Caught in her spell, he turned his hand under hers and touched their fingers together before squeezing slightly. Realizing his intimate gesture, he pulled his hand back from the table, his face blushing and clearing his throat. They both gave each other a quick small smile and began to eat their breakfast in an silence.

Though silent as they ate, inside Charles was humming a tune. That was quite bold of them to touch hands right at the table. But he supposes not nearly so bold as their actions last night. He can feel his face reddening just thinking of it. He hoped this meant she would give up that blasted Tavish? His insides twisted in a knot just thinking of the man. Of how familiar he was with Elsie and how very much the man wanted her. He felt himself grimace. But quickly pulled himself together and smiled. No sense in her thinking he was upset or angry. She had touched him, smiled at him, and that would be enough for him now.

Elsie watched Charles at the table. She could not tell exactly what he was thinking or how he felt. He was usually so easy for her to read. However he did take her hand in his and squeeze lightly before pulling away. It gave her enough and filled her heart. One small gesture meaning so much more to her than a million words. She smiled as she ate. Feeling Charles' gaze on her the whole while.

When they finished Charles stood at the head of the table and gave the staff their usual "Crawley Family welcome home speech". He shooed them all away with specific instructions and soon he and Elsie were standing alone in the hall. There was certainly an atmosphere in the air around them. He cleared his throat, an obvious tell that he was indeed very nervous to be alone with her just yet. She tried to catch his eye, to calm him, when he looked down at her and smiled sweetly. She felt a tingle throughout her body as she stepped closer and gently laid her palm against his broad chest. "Mr. Carson, I think..."

"Mrs. Hughes. There is a Mr. Tavish at the back door for you!" Their youngest hall boy Edward called, as he entered the servants hall.

Charles' smile quickly faded. His eyes narrowed and he frowned, once again hurt and confused. He backed slowly away from her and shook his head.

Elsie went to him, taking his hand in hers. "Charles...I .." Elsie opened her mouth to explain. To say Ian was nothing more than a friend to her. To tell him she had not asked him to call. To tell him the only man who means anything to her, the only man that has ever meant anything to her, is him.

Charles pulled his hand from her grasp and turned away. He would not break in front of her. He left the hall and headed towards the stairs. He could not stand around and witness any more of her with that man. He didn't think his heart could take it.

_As always, thanks so much for the kind and hilarious reviews. You are a great group of ladies! What fun we have on here :). I'm glad you're all still hanging in there with me :). I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint, but not to worry, they'll get there...I think ;) Mona xoxo_


	12. Chapter 12

Elsie was as hurt by Charles pulling away, as he was by Ian showing up. She stood silent in the servants hall staring out the door where he had left. How had they found themselves here again? Why is Charles turning his back on her so easily, and continuously pulling away just when she thinks they have moved forward? Her eyes filled with unshed tears. How was she to ever clear things up between them if he would not listen. She was startled from her thoughts by Ian's voice.

"Hello, lass." He said softly. "I'm so sorry to show up so early and unannounced. I just couldn't wait another moment to see you." He stepped closer and took her hand. "Elsie, whats wrong? Please? If you will have me, I will take you right now. I see the tears in your eyes. I see what he's done to you again..."

"Mr. Tavish, please." She interrupted him. "I can't... I love him. I'm so very sorry. I never meant to hurt you." She said sadly. Ian stepped closer to her. His hand reaching up and caressing her cheek. Elsie pulled away from him. "I told you, Ian," said sadly. "I tried to warn you against me."

Ian moved his hands to her upper arms. "But I want you Elsie. What have you been doing with me last few months. Was I just a game to you? Someone to fill your time until your Butler came back? I love you!"

"Mr. Tavish." Elsie said shocked. "I never... You know that is not true. I thought we were friends.. I thought..."

But he quickly cut her off again and she could see the desperation in his eyes. "I've played the game, Lass." He whispered as his hands held her arms and drew her nearer. "Am I suppose to walk away with nothing? Do you realize I could have any woman in this village? I could, but I want you. I want you!" He said desperately.

Elsie eyes were wide in confusion. This certainly was not the man she had grown to know. She felt Ian loosen his grip on her but he was slowly backing her into the wall, out of the view of anyone passing by. "Oh, my darling. I'm sorry. I never meant to speak that way to you. Your so very beautiful. I could make you so happy. I could make you so much happier than that dried up, stuffy old Butler." He said as he pressed his body up against hers, pushing her into the wall.

"Ian, stop!" She tried to say forcefully, while keeping her voice so low as to not be caught in this position. She was sure it would be misconstrued. "Please, stop!" She said as thrust his thigh between her legs and pressed into her. She tried to turn her head away, to pull away from him and his hand was at her chin holding her.

"I just want you to see what you'll be missing, love. How good I could make you feel. Does he make you feel this way?" He kissed her hard, pushing his tongue into her mouth as he rubbed himself against her and she bit back a whimper as tears began to fall. He pulled back from her and her now free hand slapped him hard on the cheek. Stunned, he reached to his cheek as his eyes grew wide. "Els, oh lass.. What have I done?" He went to take her hand and she tightened her arms around herself. "My darling, I'm so sorry. I'll do anything." He began groveling, obviously distressed over his actions. "I never meant to get so out of hand. You do this to me. I just want you so badly for my own."

Elsie looked at him in anger and also pity. "Just go Ian, and promise me you will never come back. Please, just go."

"I'm so sorry, Elsie. I will do anything for you. I will do anything to make it up to you. Please forgive me." He was begging now, the words of a desperate man.

"I forgive you. Now go. We're done, Ian. Goodbye." Elsie said firmly, but sadly.

"Please, Elsie. I will never forget you. Forgive me." With that, Ian placed his hat on his head. There were tears in his eyes as he turned and walked out of her life.

Thomas just made his way through the doors of Downton, having arrived home on the earlier train. He pauses just outside the servants hall. He can hear the desperation in the man's voice as he pleads for Mrs. Hughes' love and acceptance. Pathetic. He's glad he's never cared for women. He's glad he's given up on love for himself. If he can get a few romps a year while in London, he figures he's set. Ahhh, but what's this? She loves "him"? There can only be one "him" she's referring to. And then there it is, Tavish confirms it when he hears "stuffy old Butler". Thomas grins. He can hear some rustling, a whimper, but he figures the tough housekeeper is just fine on her own and he walks off to find Miss. Baxter, to tell her of his new revelation. To see if she can add anything to his story.  
...

Elsie makes her way to her sitting room. She locks the door behind her and sits down at her desk. She wills herself to not cry. To not shed a tear for the man she thought Ian Tavish to be. Her thoughts are consumed by Charles anyway. By her desire to set things right once and for all. She loves him, he loves her. Why must it all be so damned complicated? They have waited so very long for this. Their chance to finally be together. For the world to either accept them or to allow themselves to change so they could be together. She pulls out his letter, reading the declarations of love he wrote her. It gives her strength. Wanting to be able to hear if Charles came back down, she stands and goes to open the door, when suddenly the bells go off. The family is arriving! She hurries upstairs with the fleet of servants behind her. All readying to welcome home the Granthams.

Their arrival is the same as every year. Lord and Lady Grantham and family are welcomed home by all. They stand outside their home, pausing to breathe the fresh country air. Elsie greets them, then takes an exhausted Anna's hand in hers. "How was London, dear?"

Anna smiles sweetly. "Just fine Mrs. Hughes. Mr. Bates and I had a lovely time. Although I am exhausted from caring for Lady Mary, Lady Grantham, and also." She doesn't say the words, but gently rubs her growing stomach.

Elsie is overjoyed and beams at her. "Oh, my darling. I bet you are dear. But Miss Baxter seems to be on the mend, you shall have your freedom tonight. I will see to the ladies if you'd like?"

"Bless you, Mrs. Hughes. You are an angel. No wonder Mr. Carson was so lost without you in London. We all were." Anna squeezes her hand before heading off to the servants entrance.

"The cheek." Elsie teased, turning and following the family into the house. She was happy to have her girl back. She smiled brightly thinking of the joy a baby would bring to the couple, and to Charles and herself.

Charles watches her speaking with Anna. He can decipher their conversation and can see the broad smile as she welcomes her girl home. She will always be Elsie's girl. They have always had a special bond between them. He enjoys watching her Mother over their children. Watching Anna caress her stomach, he thinks what it would have been like to have Elsie carry his children. To create a life with her. Yet he would take whatever life he could have left with Elsie, if only she'd let him. Choose him. How could she toy with him in such a way? Parade that man around right under his nose?

Elsie walks up behind the Grantham family and past Charles. She brushes against him purposely as she passes, her hand sliding against his as she smiles up at him, trying to reassure him of her affection. He shows her no signs of acknowledgement, only follows closely behind her. They are stopped when Cora turns back to Elsie. "Dear Mrs. Hughes, if you have a moment I'd like you to come attend me. I believe we need to have a chat." She said ominously as she ascended the staircase, not waiting for a reply.

Elsie turned quickly to Charles to speak to him, but he turned on her and followed Lord Grantham into the library. She was left standing in the hall, a mess of emotions. She sighed and followed Cora up the steps. She had a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach she was not going to enjoy this meeting...


	13. Chapter 13

Elsie finished up her meeting with Cora, and after drawing her a bath and setting out her clothes, went downstairs to look for Charles. Her incident with Mr. Tavish pushed out of her mind, all she could think about was seeing Charles again. Touching him, telling him just how much he meant to her. How much she loved him. How much she wanted him. Although that last part may not be needed to tell, after what he witnessed last night. How could he still doubt her feelings for him? Was it not his name on her lips last night? Was it not he who she so willingly let gaze upon her body? At least for a short time, she thinks, as she once again pictures his face as she tossed the sponge at him. She smiled to herself as she knocked on his door, pushing her way in before he answered. She was certain they could clear the air between them and move forward, together.

"Hello, Mr. Carson." She said smiling, as she let herself in. Seeing him at his desk working intently on the ledgers before him.

"Hello, Mrs. Hughes. Can I help you?" He said formally, not looking at her.

She wanted so badly to just say yes and throw herself on him. Sitting herself right down on his lap and showering his face with kisses. You love me, she thought. Why can you not look at me. "Can you look at me please, Charles?" She asked softly.

He was nervous now. What was she in here for? He was so confused by her actions. After last night he was certain she loved him, or at least wanted him. Why was she still seeing that blasted man? He would not be played a fool again. He knew he needed to ask her about the man, what her intentions were. Yet, he couldn't handle the answer if it was not in his favor. He raised his head and spoke. "Mrs. Hughes. I think we should take some time to ourselves. I see that your life has changed while I've been away. Perhaps mine has changed as well. Maybe I have changed my mind about some things. I need some time to think. I told you in my letter we needed to discuss some things. Perhaps we don't. Perhaps we just need a bit of space from each other."

Elsie felt a pain her chest, certainly it was her heart breaking. Pain and confusion filled her. What was he saying? Had he changed his mind about her. She reached into her pocket and touched the letter she had read earlier that day. "I don't understand, Charles. Did you not mean what you wrote to me?"

"I'm sure I did at the time. I'm sure I wished to discuss some matters with you. That may not be the case anymore." He said without emotion, though he could hardly look at her, standing their so beautiful, her lower lip tucked into her mouth. He wanted so badly to take her in his arms and kiss her passionately. Show her how much he truly wanted her. But what if she were to refuse him. To push him away and say she was already claimed by Tavish. He would never recover from the humiliation.

Elsie walked to his desk and withdrew the letter from her pocket. She laid it down in front of him. "Then you are not the man I thought you were, Charles Carson." She said sadly as tears filled her eyes.

Charles stood at this declaration from her. "I...I am not the man you thought I was?" He said calmly, even though upset and confused. He felt as if he was losing his mind. His emotions taking over him he added. "Elsie Hughes, you are most definitely not the woman I thought you were. But it's a hard pill to swallow when you realize all women are the same. You're no better than Alice!" He snapped sharply. "A charming man comes along and off you go, abandoning all human decency and responsibility."

The words stung her to the core. Is that really what he thought. "Decency! You want to talk about decency, and compare me to that horrible woman. I thought after receiving your letter...I can't believe you would take back such a thing? You are cold, Charles. Colder than I ever thought you could be."

"Why is this damned letter so important to you? You keep mentioning this letter as if..." He paused as it dawned on him what letter she could possibly be referring to. He couldn't have? He quickly grabbed it up from his desk, opening it. He scanned the page and his face turned white as a sheet. He dropped it back down on his desk and stared at Elsie. He turned away from her, leaning over his desk and speaking coldly. "I never intended to send this. It was a mistake. It's all a mistake. Go to your Mr. Tavish."

Tears falling down her face, Elsie turned and walked out the door. Her heart broken by the man she loved. Her hopes and dreams for their future shattered around her.

Later that evening, Charles found himself going through the motions of his work. He felt more lost than he ever had in his life. His regrets piled up in his heart. He stood outside the drawing room door. His Lordship and Ladyship the last awake. He paused when he heard Lady Grantham say "Mrs. Hughes" and his ears immediately perked up.

"Oh good! Cora exclaimed. "Finally Carson's stepped out. I've been wanting to tell you all day that I talked to Mrs. Hughes this morning about what we discussed."

"Well, that was quick, darling." Robert chuckled. "Our first day back."

"I just had to know Robert. I would be lost without her. This house would fall down around us." She said dramatically and it caused Carson roll his eyes.

"Yes, you're probably right." Robert responded. "And I dare say Carson would not survive to long without her."

Charles listened, his heart hurting for the way he and Elsie had parted this afternoon. His Lordship was correct. He would never survive without her, and he had just pushed her into the very arms of a man who was more than happy to take her away.

"Exactly!" Cora shrieked. "That is what I'm trying to tell you. I asked her about these rumors we heard. About this estate manager Mr. Tavish. She assured me they were just friends. She said she thought he was kind, decent, and dare I say it. She said handsome." Cora giggled, and Carson stewed angry.

"Who would have thought our Mrs. Hughes." Robert smirked. "Well, she is quite a beautiful woman."

"Robert!" Cora admonished him.

"Well, she is." He said sheepishly.

Outside Charles was grinning at his masters correct assessment of Elsie. She was gorgeous. She deserved to be loved properly.

"But then she looked upset. Said they were never walking out, and there was no understanding. She said she valued their friendship, but things had turned sour just this morning."

Charles listened intently, not wanting to miss a word.

"How so?" Robert asked worriedly.

"Seems he showed his true colors and tried to force himself upon her." Cora said shockingly.

Charles put his hand on the wall to steady himself. His anger rose and he was finding it hard to breath. Elsie had never wanted the man. She was not in love with him. They were not walking out. He would kill the man. He would kill him for touching his beautiful woman. What had he done?

"Is she alright?" Robert asked concerned.

"Yes, she is. Our housekeeper is made of stern stuff. Anyway, Robert. The awful man did intend for more, but she has refused him. I asked her why and she said. 'Personal reasons my lady.' She said she would never leave Downton." Cora paused and smiled at Robert. "Well, I was beyond relieved, but she looked so very sad. I asked if there was more than her job and loyalty to the family keeping her here. She just answered yes very quietly." Robert stared at her curiously, raising his eyebrow. "Oh Robert, I know it's Carson!"

"Honestly, Cora!" The way your mind works. "Why would you even think that? Carson obviously does not return her feeling. Look at the way he behaved towards her today. His second day home and he barely looked at her, let alone spoke with her."

"That's just it, Robert! Don't you see?" She went on. "He is upset because he believes she's leaving him for this man. They obviously haven't spoken of it. Knowing our Carson, he's probably avoided her since he's walked through that door."

Charles could not listen another minute. Cora had understood him and the situation far better than he could himself. How did he make such a mess of things? How did they go so wrong? Why had he not let her speak to him. He kept pushing and pulling back. Always so hard and stubborn. He needed to find her now. They needed to for once and all sit down and listen to each other. He would finally bare his soul to her, and if necessary, beg for her forgiveness and love.

_Thanks so much for your continued reading and reviewing :). I seem to have lost a couple of you. Hopefully I will win you over once again. Things should be starting to sort themselves out soon. Thanks for hanging in there with me. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review if you do...or maybe it is time for me to wrap this thing up already? ) Thanks again, Mona xoxo_


	14. Chapter 14

_Hello Lovelies! :) Today we will be venturing into "M" Land. I do hope you enjoy. If it's not your cup of tea (come on, really? Who doesn't love it?..tee hee) then feel free to skip it. I appreciate all of your wonderful reviews. They make me smile, and they most definitely keep me writing this story..which is becoming my longest ever ;) Happy Thanksgiving to all. Lots of love, Mona xoxo_

Elsie sat in her sitting room, drinking her fourth glass of wine. She stared at the nearly empty bottle. Only moments earlier she had turned Beryl away at the door, claiming to be too busy to chat. She knew Beryl could tell something was wrong, but she pushed her away, not ready to talk of it yet. If she spoke the words aloud they would most certainly be true. Charles Carson does not love me, she thought at she drained her glass. Tears fell from her eyes as she stared into the fire. How could she continue on here at Downton? Would things ever be the same? If only they could go back to the way they were before. She was sure she could live the life of quiet and secret longing. She had done so for so many years. She curses the day she ever received that letter! She curses the day she ever met Ian Tavish! She curses the day she let Charles Carson into her heart!

...

Charles hurried down the staircase in hopes that she would still be awake in her sitting room. He had to see her. He could not spend another sleepless night without her knowing the truth. Without telling her just how very much he loved her and how he would do anything to make her happy. Anything to make her love him in return. He would stay here at Downton with her, he would cross the ocean with her, he would follow wherever she went, so long as they could be together. So long as she could finally be his wife, his love, his everything. He would grovel at her feet for the rest of their days if she would only forgive him for his sins. For overlooking her for so many long years. For comparing her to a woman that could never hold a candle to her kindness, warmth, beauty, and grace. For pushing her away and giving up on her. As he left the stairs and neared her room he could see the firelight dancing from beneath the door. His stomach lurched up into his throat in panic. This is it Charlie, he thought. This is your last chance. He didn't bother to knock, but opened the door quietly and stepped inside. Rather than finding his darling Elsie sitting at her desk reading, he was shocked to see her sprawled out on her stomach across her settee. A empty wine bottle laid on the floor, her hand dangling close by it. Her cheek pressed against the cushions, her mouth hung open slightly and he could hear a faint, soft snore pass her lips. "Oh, my darling." He said aloud as he gazed at her. "My beautiful girl."

Charles kneeled down next to her face. He let his fingers trail down her soft cheekbones, her delicate neck. His hands slowly traced her hairline, feeling the soft brown strands under his fingertips. "My love. My life." He whispered as he continued to softly caress her face. She stirred slightly at his touches, softly whimpering "Charles" as a tear slid from her under her eyelid. How could he have he hurt her so? How could she have brought that man into their home? They were both foolish and blind. He would not leave her here like this tonight. Yet he could not wake her in this state to discuss what they needed to. He went to her cupboard and pulled out her blanket, draping it gently across her body. He sat down on the floor next to the settee. He knew full well he would pay for it in the morning, but he would not leave her side. Charles curled himself to face her and he watched her sleep.

Elsie woke to the sounds of a steady snore. She went to move, but was stopped by a great weight across her lower back. She rolled to her side, her head fuzzy in the dimly lit sitting room. What had happened? She must have drifted off down here. She pushed the blanket down her and grabbed at the weight now across her hip. It was a arm! She pushed it away quickly and sat up, her head still dizzy from the wine and now quick movements.

"Elsie." Charles said softly. The light from the fireplace illuminating his profile as he sat on the floor, propped against the settee and leaning so close to her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked him just as quietly. The dim firelight giving her a shield from him. From him seeing her pain and heartache.

"I..I found you like this. I didn't want to leave you." He confessed shyly and sincerely. "And I didn't want to wake you in the state you were in." He added quietly, looking ashamed and hurt.

"I'm fine, Mr. Carson. I'll be fine." She insisted, though the crack in her voice told him otherwise. She pulled her arms around herself as she spoke, as if protecting her heart.

"But I'm not, Elsie..." He said leaning forward and taking her hands in his. "I am not fine at all." His own voice cracked and she could see his eyes glass over with tears. She was overwhelmed to see him in this broken state. Never had she seen her strong, stoic, man so shaken. "Her man" because that is who he was, who he would always be.

"Charles." She whispered as she brought her hand to his cheek. The need to touch him overpowering all her senses, she lay it gently against his face. He turned into her palm and gently placed a kiss on the soft flesh. He then looked back up into her eyes. In her eyes he saw everything in the world that mattered to him. She was his everything, she always had been.

He could hold back no longer. Looking into her eyes and holding tightly to her hand, he spoke the words he had always held in his heart. "I love you, Elsie. More than I have ever loved anyone or anything in this world. I don't want to hold back my heart from you any longer. I was a fool. We both were. And I was cruel to you... I... "He stopped briefly, his voice breaking as he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it so gently, with such love and reverence, whispering his sweet words of love, his tears falling onto her delicate fingers. "I'm so sorry, my love...my life...my everything."

Elsie felt her heart fill with happiness as the words of love flowed from Charles' lips. "Oh Charles, my darling man." She said sliding herself off the settee and into his arms. She wrapped her delicate arms around his broad shoulders and held him so tightly she didn't think she would ever let him go. He responded in kind, his strong arms wrapping around her small waist crushing her body to his. They held each other in this loving embrace. Both knowing when they pulled back their lips would truly meet for the first time. Charles pulled back slowly, just as Elsie did the same, her arms staying around his neck. They stared into one another's eyes and Charles brought his hand to her face gently pushing her hair back from her cheek. His finger slid down her her smooth cheek, settling at her neck. His thumb caressed her across her chin, his eyes only leaving hers for a moment to gaze at the soft pink of her parted lips.

"I have always loved you, Elsie Hughes. Always." He confessed as he softly pressed his parted lips to hers. Their faces tilted just so as their lips touched, their breathes mingling together. Elsie's tongue slid across his lips inviting him to deepen the kiss. Offering her eager tongue and open mouth for him to taste, she ran her fingers through his hair and pressed his mouth tighter into his. Her eagerness burned through Charles and visions of the previous night danced through his mind. Elsie naked and writhing under her beautiful fingers, her lips moaning his name. Still on his knees he drew Elsie tighter to him, her legs spreading so she nearly straddled his lap. More than receptive, she ground herself into him as her lips and tongue continued dancing across his. Their passion was escalating rapidly as Charles' lips trailed down her neck. She moaned and panted, her body still moving so slowly and gently against his. Layers of clothes still separating this lovers dance. Charles fingers worked loose the buttons at her chest, his hands pausing to take the delicious weight of her breasts in his palms. "Beautiful. So beautiful," he whispered. Kneading them softly, his want growing stronger. His lips worshipping her chest, the tops of her full mounds as his hands pushed her dress open and down her arms. She could feel his length harden between her legs and she continued her grinding and riding. Pulling away slightly, her hands went to his chest, her shaking fingers struggling with his buttons of his shirt. She pulled it from his body, then drug her nails down the hair of his bare chest. "Mrs. Hughes..." He groaned against her neck. "Oh, Elsie. We shouldn't. Not here. Not like this. I want it to be perfect for you."

"We won't, darling." She whispered the lie, wanting him more than she ever wanted anything. Shifting her skirts up, she settled back on him, pressing herself even harder against him. "Oh, Charles." She moaned, as their open mouths met once again, their kiss hard and passionate. Full of heat and lust. Their tongues teasing and caressing as their bodies moved faster and harder against one another. Their hands feeling and caressing every inch of their bodies, every bare spot of skin. Charles hands ventured under her skirt and he pressed his fingers against her mound. He could feel her dampness through her knickers and he pressed his fingers hard against her, rubbing through the thin fabric. Elsie clung tighter to him, her fingers clawing into his back. She was sighing and panting, feeling the most glorious sensations as Charles rubbed against her most sensitive spot . "Mmmm.. yes..," she moaned. "Ohhh Charles!" She cried out as shook in his arms, her center throbbing and pulsating with pleasure.

Charles rubbed soothingly up and down her back. His beautiful woman. So passionate and eager. So wanton and lustful. He was completely mad for her. His throbbing member was still pushing tight against her as he shifted them and sat on his bottom, leaning them both against the settee, his knees too creaky to stay like that for much longer. "My darling." He said stroking her hair and face. "So gorgeous. So very beautiful. So passionate." He kissed her cheeks, still glowing from her release. He felt her hand trail across the front of his trousers. Her small hands rubbing up and down his long, hard, shaft. "Elsie." He groaned deeply. "You don't have to, love."

"But I want to Charles. I want to make you feel the way you make me feel." She whispered eagerly as she kissed his neck, her fingers were at his fastenings, opening his trousers. She reached inside his shorts and ran her fingers along his length. "Your so hard Charles, so smooth." She whispered as she wrapped her hand around him. "Does this feel good?" She purred innocently, her brogue thick with lust as she pulled down his shaft and back up.

Charles groaned in reply as his hips bucked up into her hand. "Yes. God, yes! Oh, Elsie. Just like that, love." He moaned as her drew her closer to him, kissing her swollen and pink lips. Her hand stroked him gently, squeezing tighter and moving faster as Charles kissed her neck and stroked her bottom. Charles moans and groans deepened, his body thrusting as he gave a deep grunt and his seed spilled onto Elsie's hand. He leaned back against the settee and drew Elsie up onto him , her body laying flush atop his as his hands stroked up and down her body. Elsie lavished kisses upon the bare skin of his chest. She lay her cheek down against his chest she could hear the steady beating of his heart. A heart that beat for her, she thought and smiled. Charles looked down to see Elsie's smiling face lying so perfectly against his bare chest. He trailed his fingers up and down her bare arms. "Sixpence for your thoughts, love?" He said in a soft sensual voice Elsie had only heard in her dreams before.

She picked up her head from his chest to look into his eyes. "I don't want to think, Charles. I just want to be. Lets us just enjoy this moment." She said softly, her luscious Scottish lilt warming him like a blanket.

He looked at her quizzically, and she bit her bottom lip. They way she always does when she's holding back. "I love you, Elsie Hughes. I love you." He said pulling her up to kiss her lips.

"I love you, Charles... I love you." She whispered as their lips met, pouring all her love and devotion into the sweet and passionate kiss.


	15. Chapter 15

_Just a short chapter tonight, loves! But I'm actually surprised I've managed anything with the turkey coma I'm in :). Thanks so much for the reviews, my sweets! I love them all, even when they say "Stop! You are killing me!" Haha. Happy Thanksgiving and I hope you enjoy this chapter :) Mona xoxo_

They lay silent in the dark of her sitting room, Elsie still draped across Charles' body. Their hands still caressing and holding one another. The dim firelight dancing across the bare skin of her arms, his chest. Elsie felt as if she was in another time, another place. Charles was overcome by the intensity of their love and passion, but trying his hardest to keep his mind from racing. He tried not think, to only enjoy the moment they were in. To bask in the absolute, all consuming, love he had for her. He always knew she would be his ultimate undoing, the only thing in this world that could break down all his senses and cause him to lose control. Even with Alice, he had the sense to not go this far. But he had never wanted her like he did Elsie. He hadn't spent twenty years of sleepless or dream filled nights imagining her skin and curves. The way she would look and sound as she writhed underneath him. All his hopes and dreams could not have prepared him for the way he felt when she took him in her hands, a lustful siren, yet so sweet and innocent. He should be ashamed he let it get that far, but he was not. Nothing shared between them could ever be wrong or sinful, because this love between them was more real and pure to him than anything could be. He felt like he'd waited forever to be in this moment, right where he was, his love in his arms. He knew he would never be able to let her go. He hoped she would never want him to. He would hold her forever. Give her everything he had, and take nothing from her but her love.

Elsie lay on him, listening to the steady beat of his heart. She tried to take in this moment. This perfect moment of love and connection. She pushed back her bitter thoughts of the hurt he put her through only hours ago today. She didn't know exactly what caused him to break, to finally come to her, to finally confess his love and longing. They had so much to discuss, but it really was lovely coming together in this way. After so many years of secret longing and desire. Decades of being deprived their mutual need to touch and love one another physically. She never wanted to let him go. Never wanted to leave his warm embrace, be without the feeling of his skin against hers. She had so many questions and they had so little time before the sun would be coming up and Ivy would be down in the kitchens. Getting caught out like this would serve neither of them any good, no matter how well the family thought of them both.

"Charles?" She finally spoke, breaking the silence of their mutual thought. Thinking his name still sounded lovely coming across her lips after being so formal with each other for so long.

"Yes, Elsie." He answered back, smiling at the way she spoke his name so sweetly.

"Why.. Why now? What happened?" She asked softly as she slid off him to see his face. She sat curled next to him, still in his arms.

"What do you mean, what happened? He answered deep voice husky from lack of sleep and the burning desire that still stirred in him. He gazed at her, unable to answer the question, bewitched by her eyes, lips, skin. "You're so beautiful." He said slowly dragging the back of his fingertips down her cheek. "It seems like I've waited a lifetime to be able to say those words to you. Do you know how absolutely stunning you are?" Elsie blushed at his words and looked down. He tilted her chin back up to look at him. "You are the most precious and lovely woman I have ever laid eyes on. Your stunning beauty and elegance has kept me awake at nights for nearly twenty years. You never change, only grow more perfect to me with every single day that passes. How I have longed to taste your lips, feel your skin, hold you in my arms."

Elsie melted under his gaze, his loving words. She knew he was a romantic at heart. Knew that underneath that tough and stern exterior held the heart of a poet, a gentle and kind man full of love and passion. "Charles." She said blushing in embarrassment at this new level of intimacy between them. She turned her face from him. "There's no need for any of that, you silly man." She tried to use her best housekeeper voice.

He pulled her back to him and looked into her eyes once again. Her eyes slowly filled with tears of happiness, and he kissed them away. Peppering her face with soft kisses. "There is, love. And I will spend the rest of my days telling you this, and showing you how much I truly adore you."

She smiled broadly, unable to contain the sheer joy inside her. This really was happening. They were finally here after so many long, lonely years. So many years of pushing it all deep down inside. So strong and overwhelming now, she wasn't sure if she could ever hide these feelings again. "Ohh, Charles. I never though we'd get here." She whispered her confession against his lips. He pulled back to see her face as she spoke to him. "Though I've never wanted anything more in my whole life. I have loved you so long now I cannot remember when my heart began to do so." She stroked her fingers down his still bare chest, her Scottish lilt soft and inviting. "And I've desired you in this way since the first moment I laid eyes upon you. I don't think I'll ever want you to put your shirt back on again." She kissed his strong shoulder then neck, snuggling her face into his neck and breathing in his delicious scent. They held each other for moments longer before reality set in upon them both. Neither wanting to break this spell upon them and separate. Elsie spoke first.

"I think we need to get up to our rooms." She said sadly, still not moving from his embrace. "Ivy will be 'round soon."

"You are right. I just don't want to let you go. Perhaps if we both went to your room." Charles said hesitantly. "Then I could hold you awhile longer."

Elsie sighed in his arms. "You know we cannot. If we were ever found out.." She stopped and sighed again. How were they to ever do this. They had so many things to discuss about their future. How were they going to endeavor on this new understanding between them?

"I know. I know. I just don't want to let you go." He said quietly. "I'm afraid if I do...If we part now and this ends... I'm afraid you will change your mind on me, Elsie."

The words came out so honestly she knew them to be true. He was still as scared as she. Blissfully and completely happy for the first time in her life, but scared senseless as what was to come. "I promise I will never stop loving you, Charles. No matter what happens, you will always have my heart." She said as she brought her lips to his in a passionate kiss, reassuring him of her adoration and devotion.


	16. Chapter 16

_Hi guys! :) I'm still here! Had a very busy couple days. Between work, visiting Santa, and a Birthday party, my poor Chelsie had to take a two day break :(. Lets hope that doesn't happen again! This is a Smut warning! Going a bit 'M' here. I hope you enjoy :) xoxo_

It was early the next morning and Elsie sprung from her bed, eager to see Charles. They had so much to discuss still. There were so many unanswered questions between the two. Yet she was not worried. She knew whatever may come their way, they would handle it together. She was certain their love could withstand the toughest storms. Coming off the steps she saw the light shining from underneath his door and knew he had as sleepless a night as she had. She opened his door and slid in, shutting it quietly behind her. She had yet to speak a word to him. Unsure even of how they would address each other. Would it be too bold to fall into his arms and kiss him good morning?

She stood there against his door looking so incredibly beautiful. His mind conjuring images of her beautiful body, supple flesh, the taste of her smooth skin on his tongue. He willed himself to stop, to not let it all overcome him. These intense urges to have her against him. He couldn't help it. Since the minute he'd seen her touched her, tasted her, all he's wanted to do was claim her as his very own for once and all. He supposed it was some primitive male desire, but he would not accept anything other than his need to know her fully. To share and experience everything they could with one another. When she hadn't spoken yet, just stood there watching him, he was struck with the intense dread that it was all a dream. Something his mind had tricked him with in the dead of the night. He choked out. "Good morning, Mrs. Hughes."

"Mrs. Hughes, is it?" She teased back, arching her eyebrow and giving him that adorable half smile and eye roll she always did when he irritated her.

So it hadn't all been a dream, a divine fantasy his mind had created in the dead of the night. She was his finally. She had complete and utter control over his heart. He stood and came around from behind his desk and took her in his arms, burying his face into her neck and kissing the soft silky skin. She giggled, his darling, beautiful, Mrs. Hughes giggled. He thought the sound was the closest to heaven he would ever reach while on earth. "Oh Gods, Elsie." He murmured against her neck. "for a moment there, I thought it was all a dream."

"It certainly is...Mr. Carson." She answered, using his formal name teasingly, then pulled back to look into his eyes. "Charles." She whispered as she pushed up on her tiptoes, smiling as she kissed him.

Charles immediately scooped her into his arms, nearly lifting her off the ground. He kissed her passionately, his happiness consuming him to the point of tears.

"Charles! Put me down, you silly man!" She whispered in his ear while once again her adorable giggle filled his office.

"Never!" He said defiantly, drawing his hands to her waist and scooting her towards his desk. Elsie then let out a small gasp as he grasped her hips and lifted her right into the desks surface, setting her down upon his rotas.

Elsie was too surprised and excited by his actions to protest. She simple spread her legs wantonly and pulled him to her, nervously biting her bottom lip. Charles acquiesced to his lady's wishes and wrapped his arms around her waist. Leaning into her, he pressed his lips gently against hers. "I love you." He whispered softly as he kissed her slowly, taking her bottom lip into his mouth and biting gently. "Do you know I love that?"

"Love what?" Elsie asked smiling against his lips, and their mouths moved so softly against one another's.

Charles ran his tongue along her bottom lip. "When you bite that lovely bottom lip of yours. So sexy. So very enticing." His deep voice seemed to vibrate through her body and she moaned against his mouth. Charles pressed himself into her tighter, deepening their kiss. Elsie could feel his solid length pressing against her willing center and she sighed, as Charles moaned into her mouth.

"Charles, please! Please!" She begged into his ear as his mouth sucked the soft skin at her neck. "I want you?"

Charles groaned and pulled back to look into her eyes. "I want you so bad, Elsie. But we cannot... Not yet, love. Not like this."

Elsie, frustrated and eager, reached for his belt, pulling him tighter to her and working the buckle loose as she kissed him fiercely. "I want you, Charles. I want you inside me." She purred seductively, looking into his eyes.

At that, Charles lost all control. He pulled her skirts up quickly and pressed against her hard, his solid length pushing at her center through his trousers and her thin cotton knickers. He pulled back and his hands went under her skirts, kneading her soft thighs and sliding closer to their goal. His fingers slid under the hem of her knickers and he pushed them up until he reached her warm wet center. Elsie gasped when she felt his fingers against her sensitive area and she began to move under his touch. Charles slid his fingers up and down her slit, so warm and wet. So inviting it drove him mad with lust. He rubbed gently at her nub, then slowly slid a finger into her. So very tight and wet. He moved it in and out as Elsie panted in his ear. Her arms slung around his neck to keep her from falling back. When she was jerking against him he slid in another finger and used him thumb to rub her nub as his fingers moved inside her. "Oh Charles.. Now! Now!" She tried to keep her voice down as she begged him to give himself to her.

He was mad with lust and pulled at her knickers, sliding them down and off her legs before tearing at his trousers, pulling them open and preparing to finally join them as one.

"Mr. Carson, may I come in?" Came Thomas' voice, accompanied by a hurried knock.

Charles and Elsie stared a each other in shock. They quickly righted themselves without a word. Charles went to sit at his desk and Elsie sunk into the chair near the fire quickly picking up a book. "You may." Charles commanded deeply.

Thomas entered swiftly, smirking down at Mrs. Hughes when he noticed her disheveled state. "Good morning, Mrs. Hughes. I didn't expect to find you here."

"It's not for you to expect to find me anywhere, Mr. Barrow." Elsie said, speaking evenly and putting him in his place.

"What did you want, Thomas?" Carson said curtly.

"Just to ask if you minded I go into the village this morning." He said quickly, coming up with an excuse for his interruption, other than his spying on the two.

"Yes, yes. Go now. But be quick about it." Charles answered stiffly, excusing him.

Thomas left the room and Charles sighed. His head falling into his hands at his desk. Elsie stood and went to him, rubbing his back gently. He pulled his chair back and she leaned against his desk as he looked up at her. "What are we doing? We were pawing at each other like animals. " He said shaking his head. He stood, looking down at her and putting his hands on her hips. "Elsie, if Thomas wouldn't have interrupted us, I would have...I would have taken you right here on my desk."

"And I would have enjoyed every minute of it." Elsie purred, smiling sexily at him while reaching up to caress his cheek.

Charles grinned down at her and kissed her soundly. She pulled back from him when his hands began to roam her body. "Charles... Charles, you're right. We must stop. No matter how hard it may be to keep our hands to ourselves." She said sexily, her Scottish brogue thickening as she stroked his chest. She pulled back, knowing she needed answers and was far too distracted by his closeness. "There are things we need to discuss. First off, I'd like to know exactly what led you to end up on the floor of my sitting room last night?"

_Thanks so much for your reviews :) Please do let me know if you are all still enjoying this. I have several ideas left, but it may be time to wrap it up already... Thanks again, Mona xoxo_


	17. Chapter 17

Charles stood silently as he contemplated Elsie's question. He stared at the woman he had loved for so many long years. How does he bring up something he'd rather just forget. He could go the rest of his life without mentioning Ian Tavish again. Should he tell her everything he heard? Should he delve into the depths of his understanding or just tell her how he feels? How he felt. He decided to follow his heart. "Because I love you. That is how I ended up in your sitting room. Because I couldn't sleep after the horrible things I said to you. The terrible way I treated you. I was sick with regret and guilt. I couldn't rest until you knew how I truly felt." He stepped closer to her, taking her hand and leading her to the armchair by the fire. He sat down and pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms tight around her middle and resting his head on her shoulder. "You never loved him." He said softly against her shoulder.

Elsie pulled back and took his face in between her small palms. "Never, Charles!" She said firmly. "There has never been anyone but you. I want you to know that. I need you to know how sorry I am that I even allowed this to happen. I never should have...I never would have had I known what he.. Had I known what he intended. What he wanted from me. I'm so sorry to have put you through that." She paused and kissed him softly on his brow. "I never knew, Charles... I never knew you loved me. You never let me in." Tears fell softly from her eyes. "I tried. I tried so hard to make you love me."

Charles felt his own tears slide down his cheeks as he watched Elsie break down at her confession. He was such a fool. He would never be able to forgive himself for allowing her to feel unloved for all those years. His regrets consumed him and he bent his head against her breast as his tears fell and he shook with emotion. "I'm so sorry, Elsie. I wish I could have showed you. I wish I would have been a braver man for you."

Elsie ran her fingers through his hair soothingly. "You are the bravest man I know. The strongest, kindest, most honorable, and might I add handsomest." She smiled as she kissed his head. "Charles, you are everything to me, and I would have waited twenty more years at your side. I would have lived my life here as your friend rather than be anywhere else in the world. The fact that we have this between us now is more than I ever could have hoped for. Never in my wildest dreams, and trust me, I've had some wild ones," she added, nibbling gently on his earlobe. "Never did I imagine we would get this far, become so close."

"But we are now, my love. We are." He brought his lips to hers, their mouths matching, sharing the same sweet breath between them. He pulled back, gently taking her lips between his teeth. His tongue ran along her crease, licking against the tip of her sweet, soft, tongue. They moved against each other, teasing and tasting. Elsie tilting her head back as Charles trailed his kisses down her neck. "I want us to be as close as two people can be." He whispered against her ear. "I want you to be mine. I want to share my love, my life, my heart, my home. I want to spend every day with you at my side." Elsie smiled as he said the words against her skin. He pulled back to see her smile, kissing her lips softly.

Elsie smiled at him sweetly, giggling softly she teased him. "We do share all that already, Mr. Carson."

Charles gave her that half smile he always did when she was getting the better of him. "I know I'm saying this wrong. You know I'm no good with words, Mrs. Hugh...Elsie. I just, I know it's all somewhat sudden.. But yet, its not." He was becoming shy and flustered as he spoke to her while she sat quietly on his lap. "Of course we have been together all these years caring for one another. It should be easy to... That is, if you wanted more.. I would like more. I'm asking for more. I want you, Elsie."

"Oh Charles, I want everything and anything you're offering." She said wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him soundly. "I feel almost as if we've been together all this time. I'm just glad to finally be reaping some of the more interesting and exciting benefits." She gave him a flirty smile and kissed his cheek.

They both laughed as Charles grabbed her sides and hoisted her off his lap. She watched as he went to his desk and drew out a small black velvet box. He came back around to her and took her hand is his. "My darling Mrs. Hughes, I have waited a lifetime for this moment. Only in my dreams did I ever dare to imagine it would ever come true. My heart has been beating for you and you alone since the first day I saw you, in that green coat with those dark red curls. When you opened your mouth to speak, your voice wrapped around my heart and forever bound me as yours." He sunk down to one knee as he continued to look into her eyes. "Elsie Hughes, will you finally become my Elsie Carson? Will you have me, my darling? The only woman I have ever truly loved. The woman I will love until my dying day." Charles held up a beautiful ring set with a diamond and emeralds.

Elsie cried tears of joy as she smiled down at him. "Yes, Mr. Carson." She answered quickly and giggled at her use of his last name. "Yes, Charles. I would love nothing more."

Charles rose up and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tight to him and lifting her into the air. Elsie giggled and he set her back down, taking her hand and placing the ring on her slender finger. He then bent and kissed her hand. "My wife." He whispered quietly.

"My husband." She whispered as she ran her fingers down his cheek.

...

Thomas entered the library, where he knew he would find his Lordship. "Excuse me, your Lordship."

"Yes, Barrow." Robert looked up at his Underbutler as the man moved closer to him. He never did care for the chap. What could he be up to now, he wondered?

Though he didn't want to come off as pleased with himself, Thomas was eager to say the words. "Your Lordship, I'm afraid I have discovered something that may disturb you greatly"...

_I appreciate each and every review :) Please do let me know if you're enjoying the story. They really do keep me going, and I find it's getting harder to push on in these later chapters. Thanks so much :) Mona xoxo_


	18. Chapter 18

Barrow stood before Lord Grantham, waiting silently for him to ask him to continue on.

"Out with it then, Barrow." Robert spoke roughly, thoroughly annoyed by the man's coy behavior. "Or am I to guess?" He asked snidely.

"I'm sorry, my Lord, it concerns two members of the staff." He said mysteriously, intentionally trying to drag out the story. "You see, your Lordship, I have reason to believe that there is an inappropriate relationship between.."

"Oh darling, there you are!" Cora breezed into the library. "And Barrow, I see. I wondered why there was no one in the hall." She paused and looked at both men. "I do hope I'm not interrupting something?"

"Actually dear, Barrow here is telling me he has reason to believe there is an inappropriate relationship between two staff members." Robert said flatly.

Cora smirked towards Barrow. "Oh, do go on. If there is something sordid going on we should know about it."

"Well, you see." Thomas started. "It involves two very highly valued members of staff, and I'm reluctant to.."

"Enough, Barrow! Just tell us!" Robert said raising his voice in indignation.

"It's Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes, your Lordship. I'm afraid I've noticed this for some time now. I've caught them out, engaging in indecent behavior on several occasions. I'm afraid their scandalous relationship is affecting the running of Downstairs."

Robert and Cora turned to each other in shock. Both knowing there was something between their beloved Butler and Housekeeper, but never imaging they'd put themselves in a situation to be discovered in a scandalous situation. Robert spoke first. "Does anyone else know?"

"No, your Lordship. I didn't feel it right to spread gossip about the house." Thomas answered slyly, knowing full well he would spread his vicious lies as fast as he could. With any luck, the old man and his dragon would be sacked within a week, then he could step happily into the role of Butler. "I'm only telling you this to uphold the standards and dignity of Downton. I do not know how long this has been going on, but it doesn't seem proper. It's downright ungrateful behavior as valued and respected heads of staff."

"That will be quite enough, Thomas!" The deep voice of Charles Carson rang throughout the room. Carson had entered the library to speak with his Lordship, when he had paused at the door after hearing Thomas' voice. His rage and anger grew. Not for himself, but for his honorable and beautiful woman. It is true that he had scandalized her in some ways, nearly would have this morning, if Thomas would not have interrupted them. But she was his angel. The kindest and sweetest soul under this roof. She had even stood for Thomas when he was too weak to fight his battles, and now the man would trample over her, over them both. For what? A shot at running the house.

"Carson." Robert stood as Charles entered. "Is it true what Barrow says? Are you..that is to say..." Robert fumbled over his words. Embarrassed to be asking the man he held so much respect for, such a personal and intimate question. "Do you and Mrs. Hughes have an understanding?"

"My Lord, though Thomas, "he said the man's name with disgust and glared at him as Thomas stood red faced and frightened, "claims to have caught out myself and Mrs. Hughes, I know that is a lie. And yet, there is some truth in what he is saying." Charles stood tall and looked both Robert and Cora in the eye. "I do love Mrs. Hughes. Very much in fact. I have just recently asked her to marry me and she has accepted." Charles kept eye contact with the couple, though his stature slumped slightly. "We understand that there may be consequences for our actions. It is our greatest wish to stay on at Downton. We.."

"Now. Now.. None of that my good man." Robert started, cutting off Carson's speech. "You have nothing to worry about, Carson. You, nor Mrs. Hughes. How could we possibly run Downton without the both of you." Robert went to Carson and shook his hand, patting him on the shoulder as he did so. "I'm very happy for you both." He said smiling at his loyal confidant and friend. Robert would be lying to say he did not feel friendship or respect for the man who had remained a constant source of support for him throughout most his life. To see him happy, truly happy and taking something for himself finally, warmed his heart.

"Oh Carson!" Cora exclaimed, going to him and taking his hand in hers. "I've known it all along. I'm so happy for you both. So very happy. Oh, the wedding we shall have for you."

Carson was still somewhat stunned by their reactions. "My Lady, that will not be necessary. And Mrs. Hughes and I have just recently expressed our feelings to one another. This, I mean to say, our friendship had not progressed further until just recently."

"Just because the words were not said, does not mean the heart wasn't already two steps ahead." Cora said smiling sweetly at him.

Carson gave her his half smile he usually reserved for Lady Mary and Elsie. "I suppose you are correct, your Ladyship. To be perfectly honest, I have loved her all this time. I just..I never thought it possible for us to be together."

"Oh Carson!" Cora said as tears fell down her cheeks. She looked at Robert who seemed to be holding back a tear himself.

"Come on now! We can't be crying all over poor Carson. I'm sure he'd like to go let Mrs. Hughes in on the news." Robert said, still beaming at Carson.

Barrow who stood off to the side waiting to be dismissed was quiet and fuming. This had gone all wrong. Horribly wrong. What would become of him now. Working under a man he tried to sabotage, and the oh so beloved housekeeper.

Robert turned to Barrow now, disgust written all over his face. "As for you, Barrow. You will be given two weeks to be out of this house. Mr. Carson will write you a mediocre reference, which is no more than you deserve. I think we've all had enough of your underhandedness and lies. You are dismissed from Downton. And if I hear one word of misbehavior on your part, you will be removed from the grounds immediately with no reference. Do you understand?"

"Yes, your Lordship." Thomas said cooly. He knew his only chance was to get the reference. Without one, he would surely be lost to the world. It seems his scheming had gone one step too far this time. He could not play upon Mrs. Hughes sympathies. As Cora glared at him, he realized he could not play upon her Ladyships good graces as well. He had well and truly lost this time. With a final bow, he left the room.

"Thank you, my Lord. I've wanted to do that for more years than I can count." Charles said nodding at Robert.

"As have I. As have I." Robert said with a wink and smirk. "Now off with you, Carson."

"And do meet with us in the morning. You and Mrs. Hughes both. Eleven in the drawing room would be marvelous. I'm sure they'll be much to discuss." Cora added as Charles left the room.

"Yes, my Lady." Charles bowed and exited the Library, leaving a pleased Robert and Cora behind.

Cora smiled as she went to Robert and he took her hands in his. "I knew it. I always knew it. Oh, darling. I'm so very proud of you. You handled that remarkably well."

Robert smiled sweetly at his loving wife. "Who am I to deny our dear Butler of marrying the woman he loves, when I myself am blessed to be married to the woman I love with all my heart." He pulled Cora into his arms and kissed his kind and beautiful wife passionately.

...

Charles was still stunned as he made his way downstairs. How would he tell Elsie all their dreams had just come true? They could marry and stay at Downton, retaining the jobs they both loved so dearly. Not for the first time, Charles' heart had swelled at the kindness and understanding shown by the Crawley family. His head was spinning as he went over the events of the last two days. Everything was happening so quickly. He had to admit he was nervous. All this excitement, upheaval, and attention was weighing on him, weighing on the man he used to be just two days ago. Since hearing her say those three sweet words, he can barely recognize the man he was. The reticent man with walls erected so high around him he could barely see over the tops. They had confessed their love and become engaged. They had become intimate with each other, almost to the point of no return. They had talked about things, not nearly as much as they should. But it all didn't seem to matter. Nothing seemed to matter but the fact that they were together as one now. There love was spoken and tangible. Their hearts were now connected by invisible tethers that would bind them for life. There was no going back now, only forward. Together.

Elsie sat at her desk. She had now spent all day daydreaming of Charles. How would she ever get any work done when every time she closed her eyes she pictured his broad and bare, silver haired, chest. She shook her head to try and clear her mind of him. It would do no good and she knew it. She was in deep now. For twenty long years her heart had gone between loving and longing for Charles, or trying to push and block him out. It seemed to be at such peace now that it had found its home safe within him. For that was where her heart lay now. Outside her own body, and safe within the man she loved. Her pen scribbled across the paper on her desk. Elsie Carson, she wrote, Mrs. Elspeth Carson, Mrs. Charles Carson... She smiled as she doodled across the paper, feeling like a young girl with her first love. By wasn't that what Charles was? Her first and only true love.

"Elsie!" Charles said loudly, throwing open her sitting room door.

Elsie jumped up at Charles' energetic entry. "Mr. Carson! Whatever is the matter?" She yelled in a panic, seeing the look on his face.

Charles took two long strides and wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her off her feet and into his arms. He spun her in circles while kissing her neck. "My darling." He whispered and Elsie couldn't help but giggle.

"Mr. Carson!" She cried, as she watched the staff gather at her doorway, shocked to be seeing the Butler spinning the Housekeeper in his arms. "Charles set me down this instant! What is going on?" She tried sounding firm, but her smile could not be erased...

TBC

_Thanks so much for all your lovely reviews! You ladies are fantastic! xo. Sorry for not getting a chapter up yesterday :(... real life was taking its toll. I hope you enjoy the chapter tonight! I do appreciate each and every review! What do you think? Are we in need of some more Chelsie sexy time? ;) Thanks again, Mona xoxo_


	19. Chapter 19

_We've got some 'M' here guys! Watch out! Smutty McSmutterpants is back ;). At least for this chapter! Haha. Let me know if I should cool it off a little. Seriously, bring on the reviews. We can always do without the smut! What do you like, my dears :). I could probably have another chapter up tomorrow :)... Wait, today! I better get to bed! Hugs, Mona xoxo_

Charles set Elsie back on her feet, his arm staying around her waist as they turned and faced the growing crowd at her door. Elsie's mouth hung open in shock as she tried to figure out what exactly had Charles in such a state.

"What in heavens name?" Beryl exclaimed, as she pushed her way to the front of the crowd. When she saw the two in their embrace she winked and gave a quick smile, pulling the door shut. She shooed everyone off with a "mind your business", "you all have work to do, you're not being paid to stand around". They were both never so grateful to their friend and cook.

Elsie was still in a bit of shock as she turned to face Charles. "What is this all about, Charles?" She asked him, trying hard to hold back a chuckle when she saw the eager smile on his face.

Charles could care less about the crowd at the door and the scene he just caused. He smiled sweetly as he took her beautiful face between his two strong and steady hands. He bent to press his lips gently to hers. After craving his touch all day, Elsie melted into his sweet kiss. Grabbing her hands in his he gave her the happy news. "I have just come from speaking with his Lord and Ladyship. They have given us their blessing, love. They are happy for us." Charles said beaming down at her.

Elsie smiled brightly at him. She knew how deeply important it was to him to have their approval. She herself was beyond relieved. Though they had always been kind and fair employers, she had still had her doubts. "I'm so happy. I knew they would do this for you, Charles."

"For us, my love." He said before he took her hips in his large hands and drew her closer to him. He bent and took her lips with his, as his hands began to caress up and down her sides.

"Oh, Charles. You don't know how badly I've wanted this." Elsie purred seductively in his ear as he kissed his way down her neck. She moaned softly as he sucked gently at her collarbone. "You're all I've thought about all day."

"Oh, don't torture me love." He growled as he found her lips again. "I want you so much I can taste it."

Elsie pulled back from him, suddenly recalling another time he'd used the same words, in this very same room. She was suddenly reminded of his past, and Alice. How just yesterday he had compared her to the woman who had once broken his heart. She tried to shake the thoughts from her head, but they seemed to pool inside her mind. "We better not, Charles. I should get on with my work, and we have already caused enough excitement downstairs. You best go out and clean up the mess."

"Yes, love. I will see to it." He answered, kissing her lips once more. Charles paused outside her door, more than confused by her awkward behavior. One moment they were kissing and caressing each other passionately. The next, she was pulling back and shooing him out the door. She should be elated, all their problems seemed to be solved. Why was she suddenly acting distant? Did she not want this as badly as he? It was true, everything was moving so quickly. In a matter of two days they had fought bitterly, confessed their love, fallen into each others arms, nearly made passionate love to one another, and finally become engaged to be married. Charles suddenly felt a little faint himself. His chest began to tighten and he leaned against the wall to steady himself. His mind was swimming as the happenings of the last couple days raced through his mind.

"Mr. Carson, are you alright?" Anna asked worriedly as she walked by. After having just seen him spinning Mrs. Hughes around her office, she was more than surprised to find the man outside her door looking so grave. "Mr. Carson?" She said again when he didn't look up.

"Oh, oh, Anna. Ummm, yes. Thank you. Quite alright." Charles mumbled to her as he stood up straight and headed towards his pantry. He definitely needed a moment to relax and think. He silently prayed that Elsie wasn't doing the same. He told himself not to worry, she had promised that she would always love him.

Elsie sat back at her desk and tried to comprehend everything that had happened the last couple days. Everything she ever dreamed for was now coming true, why was she suddenly filled with such a strange sense of panic and worry? And the way she just sent Charles out. She was certain the poor man would now be more confused than ever. He was probably hoping for more excitement from her. After all, he had just told her they were completely free to be together. To finally have everything they had hoped for. She stood up quickly and headed out her door, making her way to his pantry. She pushed his door open without knocking to find a somber looking Charles. She closed the door and went to him until she was standing between his legs, in front of him as he sat in his chair. He wrapped his arms around her middle as she rested hers around his shoulders and laid her cheek in his soft hair. She kissed the top of his head. "It's all so real now, Mr. Carson." She said softly, enjoying the comfort and familiarity of addressing him in this way.

"It is, Mrs. Hughes." He said smiling against her breast. He nuzzled his face into the soft warmth of her bosom and sighed. "I love you so much." He said quietly. "I was worried when you reacted so strangely. I was worried you were changing your mind. It's all happening so fast. I can't help but worry."

"Oh, darling. I'm so sorry to have caused you to worry. It's my own insecurities that caused me to react that way. And if we are quite honest with ourselves, it's not happened so quickly at all. We've been tiptoeing around this since the day we met." She pulled back to look down at him and he eased her down into his lap. She lay her forehead against his and closed her eyes, enjoying the peaceful moment of togetherness. Elsie soon felt Charles' hand slowly trail up her waist, his thumb gently smoothing over her breast. Her nipple began to harden under his touch as her breath shuddered against his lips. Her hands began to skim around his neck and she gently fingered his thick curls. She felt his other hand moving at her knee, slowly gathering her skirt and dragging it up her thigh. He slid his fingers under her skirt, tracing the tops of her stockings. His attentions slowly sending shivers throughout her body. Elsie let out a soft, breathy moan. His slow and seductive movements feeling so good and leaving her longing for more. "Please, Charles." She panted as his fingers skimmed under the hem of her knickers. "Touch me."

Charles slid his fingers into her knickers and began caressing her. The soft silk enveloping his fingers as he slid two into her already wet and waiting center. Elsie jerked into his touch, whimpering when he pulled out. He stood her in front of him and both hands went under her skirt. He smiled wickedly up at her while he slowly removed her undergarments down her shapely legs. She lifted each leg in turn as he removed them completely and tucked them away in his desk drawer. "You are a very naughty Butler, Mr. Carson." Elsie teased seductively, her Scottish so pronounced when she was aroused.

"Oh, love. You have no idea." He groaned, grasping her hips and lifting her onto his desk in front if him.

Elsie was beyond turned on and excited as Charles placed his hands on her thighs and spread them. Moving his chair forward so he was directly in front of her, his fingers gathered her skirts slowly up her legs as he kept eye contact with her. Elsie leaned over and kissed him hard and open mouthed. His tongue pushed into her mouth and she licked against his in return. It was hot and passionate. He wanted to show her exactly how he wanted to kiss her in other places. He continued to raise her skirts as he pulled away. "Lean back now, love." He told her gently and she obeyed. She leaned back on her arms as she watched him raise her skirt to her waist and dip his head toward her most secret area. "Charles!" She gasped as she felt his mouth on her. He was kissing against her hard. Drawing his tongue roughly up and down her slick folds. Sucking hard at her small nub before plunging his tongue deeply inside her. She shook and trembled on his desk as she bit down hard on her lip to keep from screaming. Never had she felt anything so amazing in her life. So completely forbidden and intimate.

"Mmmmm. You taste so good." Charles grumbled deeply against the soft skin of her inner thigh, then continued to lick and suck on her sensitive flesh until she was shaking beneath him.

"Charles!" Was all she managed to whimper as she exploded and convulsed with pleasure. When she finally began to come down from her blissful orgasm, she looked to see Charles sitting before her with a smug smile on his face. She slid off his desk and into his lap, straddling him. He kissed her mouth hungrily and she tasted herself on him, getting high on a forbidden and naughty pleasure from his intimate kisses. "That was... Oh Charles... Ohh... Love." She whispered as she ground herself down into his hard member. "Now, Charles." She begged quietly. "We could do it so easily. I could take you right like this."

Charles groaned deeply and tipped his back as she continued grinding against his throbbing erection. "Oh Els, any more of that and I won't even make it."

Elsie continued to ride him through his trousers, before sliding down on her knees in front of him. Her hands quickly went to work releasing him from his shorts and when he was free, so hard and solid before her she couldn't resist bending her mouth and placing a kiss against him.

"My God, Elsie!" Charles cried in pure shock and delight as she bent her lips to his solid shaft.

His skin was so soft against her lips and she opened her mouth, slowly running her tongue along the tip of him. Charles jerked and shook and she smiled up at him coyly. She felt so incredibly powerful in that moment. As if she held complete control over his every happiness. His hands were gripping the chairs arms so tightly she giggled at the sight.

"So beautiful. Perfect. I love you." He whispered to her as she continued to tease him, lightly licking along his shaft and peppering it with soft kisses. She worked her way up his length and when she reached the tip, she took him into her mouth and sucked gently. He jerked beneath her as she slowly worked up and down his shaft. She could see the pleasure she was giving him and she had never had such pride and joy of seeing him so completely disheveled and unguarded. Elsie loved the feeling of control over him and knew she would revisit this many times over the course of their relationship. She continued her movements, savoring the deliciously decadent feeling of knowing and tasting him in this way. He suddenly jerked roughly and took her arms, attempting to pull her up, not wanting to spend himself in her mouth. He did not know what she would expect, and would feel it ungentlemanly to surprise her in such a way. She shook him off and continued her her gentle sucking taking him fully as his orgasm rushed over him leaving him trembling to his core. Elsie made her way back into his lap and watched him. She found such great pleasure in seeing him this way.

Charles opened his eyes and gently stroked her cheek. "You are certainly full of surprises today. You did not have to do that, my love." His voice still thick with satisfaction.

"Oh, but I wanted to to." She whispered softly as she kissed his cheeks and chin. "Besides, when have you ever known me to leave a job unfinished?" She smiled wickedly at him as she teased.

He gazed at his fiery little Scott, perched on his lap with a 'cat that got the cream' smile. She was very pleased with herself indeed. And with good reason, he thought. He had never experienced such blissful intimacy and his satisfaction and happiness in this moment overwhelmed him. He kissed her pretty little swollen lips and curled her into him. Holding her tightly, never wanting to let her go...


	20. Chapter 20

They stayed in his pantry throughout dinner. A sullen Thomas taking over dinner service and forced to serve his soon to be former employers. Beryl brought them a tray and they told her about their engagement and blessing from the family. She couldn't be happier for the couple she had watched loving each other for so long. She snuck out of the room, leaving a still blissful Charles and Elsie behind.

Charles lifted the lid from their plates on his desk and looked over at Elsie, patting his knee. She smiled and went to him, setting herself down on his lap. "Mmm. This looks delicious, love. I've certainly worked up an appetite today. How about you?" She teased as she grabbed a piece of cheese from the plate and offered Charles a bite. He hungrily bit off a piece and Elsie popped the remainder in her mouth. Grabbing a slice of buttered bread, she tore into it. Charles poured one large glass of wine and brought it to Elsie's lips. She took a generous sip and smiled at Charles. She enjoyed this attention from him, almost as much as she enjoyed pampering him. Elsie leaned into Charles and softly pressed her lips to his, sucking slightly at his lower lip before pulling back. He smiled sweetly at her and she responded by forking some of Beryl's meat pie and feeding him.

As Charles gazed at his beautiful woman he thought this must be as close to Heaven as he could possibly get. They fed each other, kissing and caressing in between bites, both drinking steadily from the same glass of wine. It was all so intimate and sensual. Everything was so new and exciting, but felt so comfortable and right. They should have been this way all along. If he had known the utter joy and contentment he would feel by having this closeness with her, he would have given up everything and anything to have had it. He was drawn to her more now than ever. Their love had unleashed something in her that wasn't there before. A twinkle in her eye, a curve to her mouth, a swing in her hips. His chest swelled with pride to think he may be the cause for these delightful changes.

"Dearest." Charles murmured deeply. "Her Ladyship ask that we meet with them in the morning to discuss our new circumstances." He added, tracing her wine covered lip with his fingertip.

"Mmm. I see how it is.." Her Scottish brogue thick with passion he was evoking from her. Her mind spinning, she took his finger from her lip and added. "So we are to be some entertainment for them? Shall we kiss for them, Charles? Perhaps they'll ask us to! Do we have to share every detail of our lives with them because they are our employers?" She was getting angrier by the moment. Could they not just be left alone to enjoy each other while maintaining their perfect household?

Charles was angered by her reaction. "Now Elsie." He said sternly. "That isn't fair. They have been good to us. And she only wanted to enquire about the wedding and such matters."

Elsie stood from his lap and stalked off across the room. "Maybe you are more willing to share 'us' with them, but I'm not. By God Charles, I will not share our love or have it mocked in such a manner...it is far too dear to me!"

"You are not even being reasonable, woman! No one will dare mock us!" Charles said loudly. seeing Elsie's face fall, he walked over to her and took her face in his hands, looking into her eyes. "I'm sorry, my love. Do you find it so hard to believe that they are simply happy for us and want to share in our joy? Because they are darling. You should have seen their faces. The words they spoke. It touched my heart deeply. Now will you go with me in the morning to see them?"

"I will, Charles. I will do anything to make you happy." She stroked his chest softly as he bent to kiss her. A slow and soft kiss full of love.

"Will we always get into such rows now, Charles?" Elsie whispered in between kisses.

"Haven't we always?" Charles answered, smiling against her lips.

Elsie giggled against his mouth and slid her arms around his neck, pulling him deeper into their passionate embrace.

...

After reluctantly parting ways the night before, Charles and Elsie both woke with a uneasy feeling. This morning they would be meeting with Lord and Lady Grantham to discuss their relationship. They had no idea what they would ask of them. What they would expect of the couple. Charles agreed to meet in her sitting room beforehand and they would walk up together. Elsie was nervously checking over her books when she heard his customary knock.

"Come in." She called sweetly. It immediately set him at ease. She always had such an affect on him. Whether it was infuriating him to the breaking point, or soothing him to a peaceful lull. Elsie really was the guiding force of his moods.

"Good morning, darling. You look as lovely as ever. How did you sleep?" He said cheerily, hoping to take the nervous look from her face.

"Good morning, love. I slept quite well considering our plans for today." She said crossing the room to kiss him good morning. "I must have been worn out from yesterday's activities." Elsie teased as she gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"Not so fast, young lady." Charles said grabbing her around the waist and pulling her towards him. "Is that a proper good morning kiss for the man you're about to marry?"

Elsie smiled up at him and threw her arms around his neck pulling him down to her waiting lips. She drug her fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck while pressing into him and opening her mouth. Charles deeply moaned against her, and she pulled back. "Will I do, Mr. Carson?" She whispered softly, teasing him.

Charles looked lovingly into her beautiful blue eyes and smiled. "Very nicely, my love."

...TBC

_Hello :). As always, thank you so so much for the reviews. They mean so much to me :). What a busy time of the year! Between the shopping, concerts, parties, and decorating, I've been scrambling to find time to write this. But I'm also working on a little Chelsie something on the side. It's almost done! Probably just a one shot to go with the hand holding pics...sigh. The handholding pics! I still can't believe it :). It's happening...it's really happening?! Tell me I'm not the only one who stares at them everyday... :)_


	21. Chapter 21

_Hi guys :). Sorry I'm being such a crappy updater lately :(. I'll try and get back on track. Christmas is kicking my butt! Hopefully I'll get the next chapter up tomorrow...or should I say later today. Christmas cookies and fudge for those who review ;) Thanks sooooo much, Mona xoxo. _

Charles and Elsie held each other tightly until it was time to go upstairs and face the Lord and Lady of the house. With Elsie's hand firmly grasped in his, Charles led the way up the servants staircase, pausing at the top to give Elsie one last kiss before they entered into the great hall. He was completely unnerved by the situation as a whole. Never did he think his professional and nearly nonexistent personal life would ever intertwine. Never did he imagine this stunning woman before him would actually love him back. "It will all be fine. I love you, Elsie Hughes. Do not forget that." Charles said ominously as he opened the door for Elsie to the drawing room.

Elsie slowly passed by Charles, smiling reassuringly up at him and masking the worry beneath her calm exterior. She immediately settled when she saw Cora and Robert were beaming at them as they entered. An smiling Cora quickly went to Elsie, taking both her hands as she spoke. "Mrs. Hughes, allow me to offer my most heartfelt congratulations on your engagement. I must say, I've always known there was something there."

Elsie smiled in return to her employer, so relieved by her kindness and generosity. "Thank you, my Lady. I am very pleased you feel that way, and I can also assure you Mr. Carson and I have never..."

"No, no, of course not." Cora interrupted. "I only meant its always been obvious to me that the care and friendship I've witnessed between you over the years has always been constant and steady." Cora explained, smiling shyly as she spoke. "And of course I'm happy, what else would I feel, Mrs. Hughes? It's almost as if you two have been married for years anyway."

"Not quite, my Lady." Elsie said, looking down and blushing again.

"No, I suppose not." Cora said blushing and giggling softly.

"Well then." Robert interrupted the women. "That should open up my next question. Where would you both like to sleep? That is stay? We would like to offer you two rooms on the east wing near the servants quarters. I'm sure you know the ones. We thought it would be a good location."

Charles finally spoke, the thought of possibly not sharing a bed with Elsie spurring him into action. "Thank you, my Lord, but only one room will be necessary."

Robert sighed. "I'm offering you a sitting room Carson, not separate bedrooms for Gods sake. I should think it's very well known that her Ladyship and I share a bed. I would not expect you to be parted from your wife." He said smiling at Mrs. Hughes uncomfortably. Charles struggled to maintain his composure in such an intimate discussion with his Lordship. While Elsie was doing everything in her power to not laugh at the awkwardness between Robert and Charles. Two men from different worlds, yet cut from the same cloth.

Charles looked at her pleadingly for his rescue, and Elsie smiled brightly as she spoke for them both. "We accept and greatly appreciate your kindness."

Seeing Robert becoming as uncomfortable as Carson, Cora spoke up. "We are so pleased to do this for you. You both mean a great deal to us and are very highly valued."

"Too true." Robert agreed. He then took Cora's hand and smiled at their Butler and Housekeeper. "Now I suggest you both take the rest of the day off. Make a day of it. Go to the village, wherever. Just enjoy each others company away from the house. Feel free to make your announcement to the staff whenever you choose. We shall remain silent until then." Robert added smiling.

"Oh no, we couldn't possibly..." Charles began stammering when Elsie reached for his arm. Changing his tune, when he felt her small hand on him. "Thank you, thank you very much, my Lord. That is a very kind offer indeed."

"Yes, very, thank you." Elsie added, smiling up at Charles.

...

Charles and Elsie quickly made their ways to their separate rooms, changing out of uniform and promising to meet in his pantry in a quarter hour. Both were incredibly happy to be getting away for a bit on their own. Elsie blushed as she changed into her best silk knickers and newest corset. She pulled on her dark blue skirt and deep red blouse. She gave herself a look in the mirror, and after applying the sheerest tint of lipstick, she headed down to meet Charles. On the way she wondered exactly what they would do? Where they would go? With a whole day together, all alone, could they head to Ripon? Perhaps find a room where they could be alone? Where she could finally have the man she's hungered for for too many long years. She felt herself flush at her brazen thoughts. Although she knew Charles wanted to wait until they were married, they had already stepped far over the line of propriety. She knew she could have whatever she wanted from him. He was so eager to make her happy, to please her in any way possible, and he was doing such a very good job of it.

Charles pulled on his Sunday suit as quickly as he could. He dressed with a smile on his face. A whole day with his gorgeous and beloved Elsie. He felt the luckiest man in the world. He thought of ways to wine and dine her. Where he could take her. What he could show her. All thoughts came back to him just wanting to be alone with her. To hold her in his arms and just be together. Charles and Elsie. Not Butler and Housekeeper, or Carson and Mrs. Hughes. But Charles and Elsie, two people madly in love. He opened his pantry door to find Elsie sitting at his desk smiling. "Are you ready, Mrs. Hughes." Charles said formally, as he stood in the doorway.

"I certainly am, Mr. Carson. I have already cleared our departure with Mrs. Patmore and Anna. I also spoke with Thomas.. Mr. Barrow. He's still quite miffed about his departure, are sure there's nothing you can..."

Charles' face grew red as stepped inside his room and closed the door behind him. He spoke angrily to her. "Elsie Hughes. Don't be a fool! After all that man has done, you would still see him as some wounded bird! He is no victim! Thomas is horrid human being, and you should be happy to see the back of him! I certainly am!"

Elsie was enraged by Charles' lecture. "A fool! A fool! Honestly Charles! I thought we were beyond the name calling now! Haven't I heard it enough from you over the years? A woman without standards! Or perhaps you could just look down your nose at me like usual. I know you think you are better than me, Charles. I'm surprised you would lower yourself to such..."

"Stop! Elsie, stop! I did not mean for it to come out like that. You know how I am with words." Charles attempted to calm her with his words as he walked towards her to take her hand. She shrugged away from him and stomped out his door without another word. When he heard the backdoor shut loudly he knew he was in a terrible mess. He left his pantry, grabbing his coat and hat from the hook. Walking down to Elsie's room he took her green coat and hat from the stand, before quickly setting off after her. When he didn't see her from the path, he knew she had taken off in a hurry and was most likely headed towards the village. He walked as quickly as his aging legs could carry him. Within a quarter hour he found himself standing in the village square and watching a beautiful, weeping, Elsie sitting on a park bench with Ian Tavish Standing over her...

Dun. Dun. Dun... TBC


	22. Chapter 22

_Here it is guys! I'm happy to have not made you wait too long. Cliffhangers are a killer! ;) I hope you like it! I love my reviewers! You have stuck by me so loyally, and I appreciate it more than I can say :). This is my longest fic yet and I'm deciding whether to wrap it up soon, or see them as a married couple... Hmmm. What do you think? It may be time for a new fic.. Thanks so much, Mona xoxo_

Charles stopped in his tracks when he saw his Elsie with Ian Tavish. She wouldn't have gone to him. Certainly not now, not after everything they had been through. She did not have a cruel bone in her body. She loved him. A hot angry flush burned through Charles as he picked up his pace towards Elsie and Tavish. As he approached he could see that Elsie was speaking to the man as tears ran down her face. His rage bubbled like an active volcano. Never in his life had he felt such a fury. A painful, burning, hatred for another human. As Charles moved in closer he could hear Elsie pleading with Tavish to leave her be. Charles stormed towards the man, and noticing his presence, Tavish turned to Charles. "Ahhh. Mr. Carson." He said looking him up and down smugly. "Looks like once again you've caused grief for our beautiful Elsie."

"Mr. Tavish!" Elsie said sternly. "Just go! Please, just leave us be!"

"Oh now, darling. Don't be so coy now that your Butler is here." Ian said, slurring his words. Charles could tell the man was obviously intoxicated. And in the early hours, no less. Charles looked down upon him with an air of superiority.

"Don't you dare speak to her!" Charles growled moving in closer to the man and grabbing him by the lapels. His deep voice took on a throaty growl that Elsie had never heard before. "I know what you've done you filthy excuse for a man! If you ever lay a hand on her, it will be the last time you do anything. Do you understand?" Charles released the mans coat and shoved him back forcefully. Charles' fists tightened at his sides and he clenched his teeth so hard he was certain they would shatter.

Tavish would not give in so easily. He chuckled at Charles and smoothed his coat down." I didn't do anything she didn't enjoy receiving. Isn't that right, love?" He said glancing to Elsie and smirking. He boldly reached out to stroke Elsie's face and Charles moved so quickly Elsie hardly knew what was happening. In one swift movement Charles grabbed her, pulled her tightly to him and then pushed her safely behind him. She heard a loud crack and looked around Charles to find Ian curled up on the cobblestone holding his face in his hands. "You will never speak to her again!" Charles barked, shaking with anger. "If I so much as hear you've looked in her direction...I will find you...and you will be sorry." Tavish drug himself off the ground holding his bleeding nose in his hand. He scanned the square looking for an audience to find no one around. Without a word, he slumped off in defeat. Leaving Charles worried this would not be the last they'd see of the man.

Charles turned back to Elsie and gently took her face in his hands, looking into her soft blue eyes. "I'm so sorry love." He whispered, kissing the tears from her cheeks. "I love you so much. Elsie, you are everything to me. When I first stumbled upon you with him... I... I.."

"Shhhh Charles. It's alright, my darling man." Elsie said softly, while stroking his face and taking his battered hand in hers. She kissed the forming bruises on his knuckles. "My big, strong, handsome, man." She whispered as she continued her kisses and speaking with a calming lilt she knew would sooth him. "I've never seen you like that Charles. Well I suppose once, when Thomas and our William got into a fight. Do you remember me heading to my sitting room straight after? I had to Charles. I couldn't trust myself around you after that. So strong, so manly. That handsome curl coming down across your forehead." She said sliding her hand up his arm.

"Mrs. Hughes!" Charles said feigning shock. "I would have never guessed..." He added deeply, his eyes darkening with lust. "If I did, I would have followed right after you and.."

"And what, Mr. Carson? What would you have done to me?" Elsie purred up at him as she stroked his chest.

"What would you like me to have done to you?" Charles whispered into her ear as he bent to kiss her neck.

"Mmmm. Ohh yes, Charles." Elsie moaned.

Charles pulled back abruptly and grabbed her hand in his. "Elsie Hughes. We need to get to Ripon." And with that he took her arm in his and nearly dragged her to the train station.  
...

After they purchased their tickets and boarded the midmorning train to Ripon, Elsie and Charles settled into their second class car. Charles was very happy to see the seats were nearly empty. He pulled Elsie in close to him and bent to kiss along her ear and neck. "There is something special I would like us to do in Ripon."

"Charles please." Elsie whispered as he teased her neck. "The only thing I want is to be alone with you." She pulled back from him to look desperately into his eyes. "Charles, will you please take me somewhere? Can we get a room? I need you so badly. I want you so badly." She whispered as she leaned over and drug her nails up the inside of his thigh. She raked them gently towards his now growing member.

"Elsie." Charles hissed as he felt himself react under her touch. He reached around her neck and pulled her lips to his. Pushing hard against her mouth and licking against the crease, parting her lips as the daring kiss between them grew more heated.

"Ahem!" A loud noise and clearing of the throat by the ticket collector, quickly brought them back to their senses. The small older gentleman neatly dressed in his blue uniform, walked towards them.

"Pardon me." Charles offered embarrassedly, not making eye contact.

"Nothing wrong with showing the lovely Misses a little affection sir, but might I suggest a private cabin next time." The old man said smiling.

Elsie giggled at him. "Thank you for the advice, kind sir." She said cheerily.

"Not at all, my dear. Always at the assistance of a lovely lady." He tipped his hat to her and winked as he kept on slowly shuffling down the hall.

Charles wrapped his arm around Elsie's shoulder and pulled her tight to his side, smiling down at his beautiful woman. "How many men am I going to have to beat off you today?"

Elsie giggled and laid her head on his chest. Her hand trailed patterns over his shirt. "Now about that room, Charles?"

Charles kissed the top of her head, whispering into her hair. "And just what did you think the special something I had planned was?"  
...

They stepped off the train in Ripon and headed towards town. Charles knew exactly the place he would like to go. It was a bit out of the way, but even in Ripon he was a well known man. Running a great house like Downton did not offer a lot of of anonymity to him. Though his thought face may not be so recognizable at any of the Inns he was thinking of. Why would an Inn keeper ever have seen him before? He blushed as he realized it was still so early in the day to be looking for a room. Surely the keep would know exactly what they wanted it for. And then, when the left in the evening, it would be more than obvious. He wished they had a reason to stay over night. But that was asking too much, and the rumors they would come home to would certainly cause too big a stir in the household, both upstairs and down. Charles realized Elsie had yet to say a word since they stepped off the train. She just clung tightly to his arm and kept her pace with his.

"Are you sure you want to do this, my love." Charles asked her as they walked on. He was more than certain it was what he wanted. It would be sinful, but nothing he ever did with gorgeous woman could ever be wrong. He wanted to see every inch of her naked body. Run his hands along every curve and dip. Memorize every freckle and scar. He longed to know her inside and out. For there to be nothing separating them, only their love and passion between them.

"Do you have to ask, Charles?" Elsie said exasperatedly. "My god! I would have had you on that train if I could have." She stopped and turned to him, running her hands up his chest and around his neck. She pulled him down to her lips and whispered in between soft kisses. "I want you Charles.. I want all of you... I want you inside me so badly I can hardly think straight.."

Charles kissed her hungrily before pulling back and giving her his sexy half smile. "If we don't find a room soon, you can have me right here in this street!"

A determined Elsie tugged at his hand and nearly drug him towards the nearest Inn. They both looked up at the sign. "The White Horse it is, Charles." Elsie said confidently as she drug him through the door.

They approached the counter, and a blushing Charles asked for their best room. The man behind the counter smiled and handed Charles a key to their best room. "Your lovely wife may enjoy the private bath. It is newly renovated, with a large tub. A good soak is always relaxing." He said boldly, smiling at Elsie. Charles grabbed the key from his hand with a snort and put his arm possessively around Elsie. My God, was every man they ran into going to make advances towards her? His chest swelled with pride at being her man. He would take on every single one of them if it meant he could hold this precious woman in his arms for just a moment.

Elsie shyly smiled up at him as they approached their door. Charles' heart filled with such a love he felt as if it would burst. Before turning the key in the lock, he brought one hand to her cheek. He spoke the words he often found it so hard to find. "Oh, my love. I have waited a lifetime for this moment with you. It has always been you Elsie Hughes. I have never loved another as I do you. You are my light, my breath, my sun and moon. Though you haven't always known, you have held my heart in your hands since the moment I laid eyes upon you. You are still the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen. If only you could see how you have filled my soul. You are as much a part of me as I am myself. My love is so strong that I ache for you when we are parted, and drown in you when we are near. I am yours Elsie. Always."

Tears fell slowly down her cheeks as Charles so openly declared his complete and utter love and devotion to her. The fiery heat and lust burning within her, turning into something even more real and desperate. It was a need to be one with the man who consumed her so absolutely. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her breathing was short and shallow. "Charles..." Was all she managed as her tears fell and her lips found his. His words had filled her heart with such love and joy. She pressed into him, wanting to show him with her body just how much she needed and loved him. "Charles.." She whimpered against his lips. "I love you...I love you..."

TBC... :)


	23. Chapter 23

**Warning! This is an M chapter! Please do not read any further if you don't like smut, naughtiness, or sexual shenanigans ... **(I've always wanted to use the word shenanigans)

_Okay so there's my warning. Now the rest of you naughty things enjoy yourselves *wink wink*. Tee hee. Lots of love, Mona xoxo _

Their kiss was deep and full of love and promise. Charles slowly turned the key in lock and pushed open the door. The room before them was beautiful. The dark wood four poster bed, stood proudly in the center of a soft white room. The sheer paneling across the window held out just enough light to dim the space, while allowing you to see the river below. A small fire was already burning steady in the fireplace. The crackling wood, the only noise they could hear. With his hand on Elsie's back he ushered her gently into the room. She turned and smiled sweetly at him. "It's lovely, Charles." She said softly taking his hand in hers and bringing it to her lips.

"You're lovely, Elsie. So very lovely." Charles whispered as he ran his fingertips down her cheek. "I should have told you that so long ago. I should have told you everyday."

Elsie looked down as her cheeks flushed from his compliment. Charles dipped his hand under his chin and gently lifted her face back up to look into her eyes. "Beautiful." He whispered as he leaned in and softly pressed his lips to hers. Elsie kissed him back slowly, savoring every gentle touch of his lips. His tongue caressing hers caused a slow burn and tingle to run through her body. The heat and passion were there as always, but now joined by a new feeling. A feeling of completeness they found in one another, of being whole. Elsie slowly ran her hands up his chest to his tie. She undid the knot, dragging it steadily from around his neck and tossing it to the side. Charles smiled against Elsie's lips and her lips curled against his in return. She slowly went to work on his shirt, as he expertly slid the buttons open on her deep red blouse. He loved the red color on her. So beautiful and different from the black she wore daily. Charles gently slid the shirt from her shoulders, kissing the bare skin he revealed. Elsie took the liberties of shimmying her skirt and corset from her body. She stood before him in just her thin white slip. Charles' shirt now hung open and Elsie slid her hand across his chest and placed it lovingly over his heart. Holding it there to feel his beat under her palm. To know that it beat for her and her alone filled her with such emotion tears ran from the deep blue pools of her eyes.

Charles kissed adoringly back up her neck until he felt the wet tears on her cheeks. He kissed them away, every touch so tender and honest. He pulled back to look into her eyes before sweeping his arm under her knees and picking her up into his embrace. Elsie instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck as Charles lowered his lips to hers. He carried her to the large four poster bed and lay her down across the silky white coverlet. She watched as he pulled his shirt for his body. She loved his broad and solid chest, muscled arms and shoulders, the dusting of hair that went all the way down to his trousers and beyond. He sat down on the edge of the bed next to Elsie and ran his hands along the bare skin of her arms and chest. "I love you like no man has ever loved a woman."

Elsie sat up and wrapped her arms around Charles shoulders. She buried her face into his neck and kissed along the soft skin of his shoulder. "And I love you, my darling man. More than words can say."

Charles lay Elsie back on the bed, moving over her gently as he passionately kissed her lips. She pulled him closer and her hands went to his belt, pushing his trousers and shorts down his body until he was able to kick them off completely. Charles drug her slip slowly up until he found her soft silk knickers. He then moved his body down Elsie's as he slid them down her shapely legs, kissing his way across the tops of her soft thighs, muscled calves, the delicate tops of her tiny feet. His desire to take his time and worship every inch of her, overwhelmed him. He kissed his way up Elsie's body, pressing his lips to each thigh before lavishing a deep and slow kiss to her center. Elsie shuddered beneath him and he felt her hands on his shoulder and in his hair. "Charles.." She cried loudly, only able to do so now that they were truly alone and away from the house. Charles smiled and kissed the soft skin of her belly and navel, licked the pink tips of her peaked nipples. His hands ran their way up her sides, dragging her shift up and off, revealing her beautiful body to him. The body he had not seen completely bare since the night he found her in the bath. He pulled himself over her, looking deep into her eyes, their naked bodies touching so intimately.

Elsie could feel his hard length pressing against her mound. She wanted him so badly. She spread her legs and accommodated his thick lower body and thighs. She ran her hands along his chest before holding his face in her hands. Elsie could feel him throbbing against her slit as he pressed so gently down into her. She smiled at him lovingly before pulling him down to kiss her lips. At the same time she thrust up against him, burying his thick length inside her. She let out a soft cry into his mouth and he pulled back to watch her face. "Mmm.. Yes... It's okay love," she said caressing his back as her thighs squeezed tightly around him. Charles smiled at her. Moving so slowly as he gazed down at her. Their eyes were locked, the love and connection passing between them as their hips began a rhythm. A tear rolled from Charles' eyes and landed on Elsie's cheek. He had dreamed of this moment for so many years, and never in his dreams did he imagine the intensity of love he felt at this moment. He had truly found his heaven in Elsie's arms.

Elsie brushed her thumb across his cheek, as she bit down hard on her bottom lip to keep her own tears at bay. She knew in this moment there was never another soul in this world for her. The thousands of books that lined the shelves of the great library at Downton could never tell a tale of love that would match the one they had found within each other. The love they shared was purer than the snow from heaven, deeper than the raging seas, and would last longer than the stars in the sky. She would be his love and he would be hers, for all eternity.  
...

Charles and Elsie lay wrapped in each others arms. Their lovemaking had been slow and beautiful. So intimate and intense, they were both left physically and emotionally exhausted. Charles kissed the top of her head and she sighed against his chest. He began to stroke along her back and bottom. His fingers trailing delicately across the top cleft of her bum. She giggled as he teased the sensitive skin on her sides. She purred when he reached around to stroke the soft skin of her breasts. Elsie threw her leg over Charles' hip and pressed her center against his thigh. She slid across him until she was laying flush on top of him, her head on his chest and her feet at his ankles. She was so small like this. So completely delicate, fragile, and womanly. He ran both hands up and down her naked body. Elsie could feel him growing hard beneath her. She lifted her head to look into his eyes. "Well now, Mr. Carson. I see... Or rather, I feel, that you are perhaps ready for more activities." She teased him, a big smile spreading across her face and lighting her eyes. Nothing made him burn with desire more, than hearing her still call him Mr. Carson. It seemed so foreign now, so completely naughty. As if they were doing something they should not be. But weren't they really. Taking a room in the middle of the day so they could share their bodies with one another.

Elsie smiled and drew herself up so she was straddling his thighs. Charles crossed his arms up under his head and stared up at her. "And what sort of activities do you have in mind, Mrs. Hughes? He said so deeply she could feel the lust in his voice.

Elsie dropped her hands down in front of her and stroked his long and thick member. "I'm not quite sure Mr. Carson. Perhaps you could go polish silver. No?" She said as he jerked into her hands. "Then maybe we could meet in the east wing. The Blue room, perhaps?" She teased seductively while trying to repress a giggle.

"Oh, you are a wicked little housekeeper." Charles growled, grabbing her waist and scooting her up his body. He lifted her over him and she guided herself slowly down his shaft. Throwing her head back and moaning deeply as she felt him fill her so completely. "Oh, Gods yes! You are a very wicked lass, Mrs. Hughes." Charles groaned as he thrusted his hips off the bed.

Elsie's hands came down onto his chest and her nails dug into his skin gently as she rolled her hips against him. Her soft, dark curls bounced over her breasts as she rode him faster and faster, her bottom rising and falling down upon him. "Mr. Carson! Ohhh... Mmm..."

Charles moved his hands from her hips and cupped her breasts. Kneading her mounds, while rubbing and pinching her soft pink nipples. He pulled up and took one into his mouth sucking hard on the sensitive peak, and Elsie cried out in response. She continued her rolling and grinding against him. Charles could feel himself tightening and he reached down between them and rubbed hard against her swollen nub. Elsie bit down on her lip and whimpered softly before coming hard against him. Her body shaking and trembling over him as he spilled himself into her. Still one, she slumped forward onto his chest. "If that's how you punish a housekeeper Mr. Carson, I think I'll enjoy being a wicked lass."

_P.S. I may just squeeze another chapter out of this 'fun time at the inn'. After all, they haven't used the bath yet... ;) what do you think? As always, I'm open to suggestions and requests. Love to hear from my smart and sassy readers. :) xo_


	24. Chapter 24

**Warning...again! Very, very, M rated! More naughty, sexual shenanigans ;)**

_Hello again, darlings! More 'fun time at the inn' well...almost all fun..._

Elsie lay across Charles, her soft body wrapped around him like a warm blanket. He could feel her breathing even out and he knew she had dozed off, the exuberance of their lovemaking draining her of all energy. He was leaned up against the headboard staring down at her beautiful face as it lay so tenderly on his chest. He brushed the soft brown curls from her cheek and felt his chest swell with love. He was a strong man, not a man who cried, yet his lovely Elsie had brought him to tears of joy on more than one occasion as of late. He gazed down at the face he had loved for so many years. His beautiful, strong, kind, Mrs. Hughes. She was so many things to him. A strong, independent woman, who commanded respect and admiration from others. A hardworking and diligent Housekeeper, who took pride in her great accomplishments at the house. A gentle and caring Mother to "their" many children they looked after downstairs. A patient and gentle friend, who had given him so much of her time and good natured advice through the years. A now she was a woman, his woman, a beautiful, delicate, passionate, goddess. A lover and true companion. A woman who could set him on fire with a coy smile, a swing of the hip, a caress of her hand. He smiled lovingly down at her as he moved his fingertips ever so gently across her hairline.

"Mmmmm." Elsie murmured against him, turning to press a sweet kiss on the soft, dark gray hair of his chest.

"Shhhh. Love... You rest." Charles said soothingly as he continued to run his hands down her cheek, neck, across the top of her back.

Elsie slid up his chest and her lips found his. "And waste a moment I could be making love to you. I think not darling." She purred, her seductive Scottish lilt causing shivers to run through Charles' body. He wrapped her up in his arms and rolled over her, pressing her into the mattress as they lie tangled in the bedsheets.

"We're never leaving this room." Charles growled as he sucked tenderly at the delicate skin of her neck and chest. Elsie giggled as he slid down her body to capture her breasts in his hands and mouth. He continued trailing kisses down her stomach and Elsie tensed and grabbed at his arms.

"Do you think we could try that bath out now, Charles?" She suggested softly.

Charles reluctantly pulled himself from her and sat at the edge of the bed. "Your bath will be ready momentarily, my Lady." And he leaned down to kiss her softly before disappearing into the bathroom. Elsie watched the muscles of his firm bottom move as he walked away. She threw herself down on her back and looked up at the ceiling, giggling softly. Never had she been so happy in her life. She heard the bath water running and Charles humming a beautiful love song. Within moments he reappeared at her side, a towel tied tightly around his hips. She smiled up at him and he gave her a silly half grin. Before she knew it he pulled the covers from her and scooped her up into his arms.

"Charles Carson!" Elsie laughed heartily as she feigned protest.

He laughed in return. The most beautiful sound her ears could hear. She was not blessed often with the solid rumble of his laughter. To her, it sounded as if the gates of heaven had opened and the angels were playing just for her. Elsie was surprised when he set her feet down gently into the warmth of a very large and deep tub. He held her hand as she sat down in the flower scented waters. Charles sat at the edge and watched her sink beneath the frothy bubbles.

Elsie's hand fluttered along his. "This is quite decadent love, I'd hate not to share it with you."

"I was hoping for an invitation." Charles rugged half smile a sight that always pleased her.

"You will never need an invite, my dear. When it comes to me, you are always welcome...to anything you'd like." Elsie had been surprising herself with her boldness. But she did not shy away. She maintained eye contact with Charles as he stood and smiled, dropping the towel from his waist. He stepped into the tub and lowered himself down against the other side, reaching out to take Elsie's hand and pull her to him. She lay across his body once again, as her lips met his. Her damp fingers clung around his neck and drug through the soft gray curls at his nape. Elsie opened her mouth and slid her tongue across his lips. Charles responded in return and kissed her deeply as his large hands clamped over her firm, round bottom. He kneaded the soft flesh, grinding her tightly against his growing member. The water splashed all around them, soaking the floor below. So intensely wrapped up in the moment, neither seemed to notice or care. Elsie pulled back and reached down to stroke his solid length, and Charles groaned in response to her firm touches. Mad with lust, he slid Elsie from his lap and grabbed her at the waist, lifting her to sit at the edge of the tub, leaning her against the flowered wallpaper of the bathing room. He spread her thighs and buried his face into her center. She leaned back further against the wall as Charles mouth and tongue ravaged her sensitive flesh.

"Ohhhh.. Mmmmm... Yes...Oh Charles... Mmmm." Elsie cried and moaned loudly as Charles licked and sucked at her. Smiling to himself as he heard her cry out in pleasure. To know he could bring her such satisfaction made him swell with pride. Her thighs began to shake under his hands as he looked up to see her biting solidly down on her bottom lip, a sure sign she would soon be reaching her peak. He gave her one last suckle and her thighs clamped firmly around his head as she thrashed forward, falling into his lap. Charles took this opportunity to wrap her legs around him and drive himself into her still pulsating center. Elsie moaned deeply against his ear as he rocked her against his hard length. Slow and gentle at first, but building to a fiery frenzy and he quickly brought her up and down his shaft until he was losing himself inside her as she came again. They held each other in what was left of their bath water.

"Can we just stay like this forever? Right here? I never want to leave your arms." Elsie whispered softly against Charles ear.

"I wish we could, love... I wish we could." Charles said softly, stroking her back. "I love being with you like this. You're so beautiful. I feel so close to you. I never knew it was possible to feel this way."

"Soon enough you will have me at your side every evening." Elsie said smiling. "Then you will be well and truly sick to death of me."

"Never. Never could I tire of finally having what I have longed a lifetime for." Charles said meeting her eyes. "Elsie Hughes, waking up to your warm body in my bed, and your beautiful face every morning, will make my life complete."

Elsie kissed him soundly before pulling back and standing in the tub. "Well this body is starting to chill, Charles. I suggest we go out by that fireplace and warm up."

"Fabulous idea, darling." Charles said enthusiastically, as he stood and helped Elsie out of the tub. She just released his hand to grab a towel when she lost her footing on the wet, slippery floor. Charles quickly reached out to grab her, but it was too late. Elsie hit hard against the tiled floor...

_I know.. I know... I totally suck for leaving it here! Remember, I think the world of you ladies and appreciate all your reviews. They do keep me writing! Don't hate me... Lots of love, Mona xoxo _


	25. Chapter 25

**M RATING! SMUT! BEWARE! MORE SEXUAL SHENANIGANS ;)**

_Good evening, my darling dears! By some miracle I was able to push out another chapter in the last couple hours. I hope you enjoy! I certainly enjoyed writing it for you! :) Mona xoxo_

"Elsie!" Charles cried out as she slid to the floor onto her naked bottom. Charles quickly left the bath, being careful not to fall and land on her.

Elsie sat on the floor, tears pooling in her eyes. "It's just my ankle Charles" she said gasping. "And perhaps my pride." She added softly, the tears trickling down her cheeks now.

A naked Charles threw the towel down to soak up the water, then lifted Elsie into his arms, taking her out into the room. "Darling are you okay? Do you think it's broken, love? Should I fetch a doctor?"

"And have him find us here? Me, naked and unwed, bedding my love.. I think not, Mr. Carson! I'm sure I will be fine." She insisted. "Set me down, Charles."

"I really don't think I should, love." Charles protested.

Elsie squirmed in his arms. "Right this second, please!" She commanded him harshly, angry that she had fallen and ruined their perfect day.

Charles slowly lowered her naked body, easing her gently down onto her feet. She bit down on her lip and hissed, as she tried to apply some weight upon her ankle. "Ow!" She whimpered in pain, as she began to shake from the chill of being wet and naked. Charles grabbed a blanket from the bed and wrapped it gently around her. Lifting her and placing her in the chair near the fireplace, he pulled the other chair closer and lifted her ankle gently into the chair to elevate it.

"I'll be right back, love." He said, bending to kiss her forehead as he found his shorts and slid them back on. Certainly the mood had been ruined, no need for him to be trouncing around nude in front of her. "Are you warming up at all?" He asked her softly.

"I am. I'm sorry I snapped at you." Elsie said softly.

"You're injured. It's fine darling. Lets keep your foot up a bit, and I'll go down and fetch you some ice for it." Charles said pulling on his trousers and shirt. "I'll be back shortly" he offered, sliding on his jacket and heading out the door.  
...

Charles returned not a quarter hour later to find Elsie sound asleep in the chair. He supposed the pain and discomfort was not too great to keep her from dozing. Her eyes popped open when she heard the door shut behind him.

"Charles?" She purred softly in a sleepy voice.

"It's me dearest. I'm back. I brought you some ice for your ankle." He said placing the cloth wrapped ice on her injured foot.

"It doesn't feel too bad now. Just a twist, I think. Though my bottom may be quite black and blue come tomorrow." She said with a frown.

"That's good news, and don't you worry about that beautiful bottom of yours. You will rest until you feel better." Charles said nervously. "Elsie...Elsie, I called the house and spoke with his Lordship. I told him you had an accident and had an injured ankle. He suggested you see a doctor and rest, at least overnight. He said he will not expect us back at the house until tomorrow night at the earliest."

"Charles!" Elsie said shocked. "I'm perfectly fine now." She said, as a smile spread across her face. As she lifted herself from the chair, the blanket slipped and revealed her large round breasts. Charles groaned at the sight and Elsie smiled wickedly at him as she dropped the blanket from her and walked towards him, limping slightly. "Do you know what this means, Charles?" She teased as she stroked a finger down his chest. "You are mine, all night long." Elsie began undoing the buttons of his shirt, eager to have him naked and in her arms.

"Oh, Elsie. I'm so glad you're not angry with me. I couldn't help myself. I saw my chance and I took it. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving this room just yet. I want more of you." He said gripping her naked bottom in his hands."

"Ouch!" She shrieked in response to his groping hands. "Be careful with that bottom, Mr. Carson! You must treat it like fine china." Elsie teased.

Charles ripped his jacket and shirt from his body, tossing them anywhere they landed. Elsie slowly backed towards the bed as Charles followed her, removing his clothes as he closed in on her. When he reached her, both naked and flushed with need, he turned her in his arms and pulled her tight to his body. Elsie could feel his hard length pressing into the cleft of her buttocks. Charles reached around and squeezed and pinched her full breasts and nipples, while sucking firmly on her neck and shoulders. Elsie was sighing and moaning as he toyed with her. "Elsie love." He whispered against her neck. "You have the most beautiful breasts I be ever seen. So large and full, they fill my hands perfectly. You were made for me darling, and I for you." He continued to kiss along her her shoulders, brushing her hair to the side to kiss her neck, his kisses trailed across her upper back as he leaned her gently over the bed. Elsie felt his hardness slip between her thighs as he leaned her forward. "Is this alright love?" He asked tenderly as he stroked his member along her center from behind. He picked her up by the hips and slid her onto the bed so she was on all fours, her weight off her ankle.

"Oh yes... Charles please... Take me... Now Charles!" Elsie begged as she bucked backwards against him. He slid into her from behind and she was met with a whole new sensation and feeling of fullness. Charles gently stroked her tender bottom as he pushed into her again and again. "Charles.." Elsie moaned his name deep in her throat.

"Are you okay, love? Is this alright darling?" He groaned, as he slowly moved inside her. The tightness and wetness of her becoming unbearably pleasurable.

Elsie groaned as she thrust back at him hungrily. She lifted herself so she was on her knees and upright against him, his thick length never leaving her body. This was an entirely different angle and feeling. Taking her from behind drove Charles mad. He held a breast tightly in one hand as the other lowered to rub tight circles against her swollen nub. Charles growled deeply in his chest as he drove up and inside her, over and over. "Mmmm.. Gods...Yesssss!" Elsie screamed out, as she began to burst inside, her orgasm coming hard and fast from somewhere within.

Hearing Elsie cry loudly as she came, caused Charles to groan her name deeply as he spilled himself inside her, still thrusting and riding the waves of pleasure until he could no longer stand. Elsie collapsed onto to the bed, turning and reaching up to him with a content smile on her face. Charles fell into her arms and pulled the covers around their naked and satisfied bodies. They tangled their limbs into one another and their lips met in a soft and gentle kiss of love. They gazed deeply into each others eyes, smiles of pure love and happiness, lighting up their faces and hearts. They slowly drifted off to sleep, still tangled in one another's love.  
...

When they awoke it was dark outside and their stomachs were grumbling fiercely. Having devoured each other, instead of lunch, they were both famished. "What time is it?" Elsie asked softly as her fingers played in the curls on his chest.

"It's around nine, love. Why don't I go and fetch us something to eat. I wouldn't want my little invalid starving on me." He teased, playfully tickling her bare sides.

"So true." Elsie giggled. "I'm completely famished. Someone has worked me into quite an appetite this afternoon." She said batting her eyelashes at him innocently.

Charles stood from the bed and gazed down at his beautiful goddess, splayed out naked against the stark white of the bed. A sheet draped around her waist, wantonly displaying her gorgeous white globes with their perfect pink nipples. Her long, shapely legs, and muscled calves. Her beautiful, long, soft brown curls, spread around her like a dark halo. Her perfectly pouting pink lips, and deep blue eyes. He smiled down and thought he was the luckiest man in the world.

"Charles..." Elsie smiled up at him as he gazed down at her admiringly. She blushed under his appreciative eye and smiled sweetly when he met hers.

"You're beautiful, Elsie. I can't take my eyes off you." Charles said deeply and sincerely, meaning every word.

Elsie felt her eyes tear up at his words and bit down gently on her bottom lip. Charles groaned in response and bent to kiss her. "That lip!" He growled as he kissed her. "That lip biting will be the death of me!"

Elsie giggled against his lips, and playfully pushed him up off her. "And me too, if you don't get up and find us something to eat soon."

Charles stood and playfully bowed before her. "As my Lady wishes." He winked playfully at her as he opened the door and walked straight into a small service cart. The tray clattered loudly as Charles grabbed it to prevent it tumbling over. Their was a cloth covered basket, two covered plates, a bottle of wine, and a small white note perched precariously on top. He picked it up and read...

_Upon hearing of your lovely wife's unfortunate accident, and your inability to leave the premises. We thought it only proper to provide food and drink during your stay. Please enjoy. Compliments of Charles Dunn,  
Owner of The White Horse Inn._

"It seems our dinner was brought to us, love." Charles said turning to Elsie and pulling the cart into their room.

"Well now, isn't that lovely!" Elsie exclaimed happily, sitting up and pulling the sheets around her chest. Charles placed the cart next to the bed and lifted the lids from the dishes. Great hunks of meats, cheeses, bread and butter filled the plates. Elsie leaned over to lift the cloth for the basket and was very pleased to find a pile of luscious ripe strawberries and small bowl of whipped cream. "Oh Charles, how delicious." She smiled up at him, just as he was removing the last of his clothes and climbing into bed next to her.

"What do you say to a little picnic?" Charles offered, smiling as he pulled the tray from the cart and placed it down onto the bed.

"I say yes, Charles." Elsie smiled sweetly as she watched his muscled arms maneuver the tray. "I'll always say yes." She added seductively as she laid her head against his shoulder and kissed his firm upper arm, his bicep rippling beneath her lips. He was so handsome and strong. So virile and masculine. She placed kisses along his shoulder and he dipped a strawberry in cream, before bringing it to her lips. She bit down on the sweet fruit and the juices spread across her lips and trickled down her chin. Charles groaned deeply as he leaned in and tasted the juices with his own tongue. He growled deeply and both knew they would be getting very little eating done...

_Shall we get one more chapter out of this lovely room? You let me know with your reviews! As always, I love them, and appreciate them more than I can say! Mona xoxo_


	26. Chapter 26

**Naughty, smutty, M rating warning... You know the drill ;)**

The soft morning light broke through the thin curtains shielding the large window. Charles opened his sleepy eyes and took in the sight before him. Elsie's beautiful face lying so softly upon the stark white pillow. He watched the sunlight dance across her soft skin and hair. She was completely stunning and goddess like, as if Aphrodite herself, came down to lay with him. Her pale skin shown brightly in the sun. Her bare back exposed as she lay on her stomach, curled towards him. Charles fingers stroked gently along the dusting of freckles dancing across her silken skin. He ran them slowly down her back to where the sheet lay across the firm, round, globes of her bottom. He drug the sheet slowly down and over her luscious curves. He smoothed his hand along her bottom and thighs, before sliding it up her back and into her soft brown locks.

"Are you going to toy with me all morning Charles? Or must I beg for more?" Elsie opened one eye and peeked at him playfully, smiling. Charles smiled sweetly back at her as he continued to run his hand along her body. "Mmmm." Elsie softly moaned appreciatively. "That feels lovely."

Charles smiled as he watched her eyes drift shut again as he softly stroked her hair and back. "I can't wait until we are married. I've never woken up so happy in my life."

"Nor I , my darling man." Elsie purred. "This is heavenly." Elsie turned towards him, exposing her full breasts as she rolled onto her side. Charles' fingers were immediately drawn to them. His fingertips ghosting gently across the soft white skin and sensitive pink nipples. Elsie watched him play with her, his eyes so dark and focused on her breasts. The look on is face so adoring and awe filled. His eyes finally met hers and she smiled softly at him. "I love you, Charles."

"And I love you, my sweet Elsie." He whispered softly, while maintaining eye contact and pulling her into a passionate kiss. Charles pulled back suddenly, reaching down between them, then pulling his hand up with an amused face. In his fingers was a smashed, cream covered strawberry.

Elsie giggled at the sight. "Looks like we may have missed one."

Charles playfully kissed her again. "You were lovely last night, by the way." Charles whispered against her lips. "And so very delicious... In fact, I must check to see if there are any leftovers." Elsie burst into a fit of giggles as Charles slunk under the covers and down her body. When he reached his goal, his deep groan mingled with her soft cries of instant pleasure. Charles pulled the sheet from them and continued his attentions to her most sensitive area. He kissed and licked along her center until she was trembling beneath him, loudly crying out his name.

"Charles!" Elsie cried out loudly as she came hard from his masterful tongue.

When at last, Elsie came down from her spiraling pleasure, a smiling and very proud Charles, slid back up to meet her face. "Good morning, love." He said tenderly as he positioned himself between her welcoming thighs and began to lower himself gently into her still throbbing center.

"A very good morning, Charles." Elsie smiled at him as she met his thrusts with hers. Charles pumped forcefully into her and his chest rumbled with a deep moaning. They maintained eye contact the entire while. A sort of invisible bond locking them into one another. Words of love and promise silently passing between their hearts. "Yes, Charles!" Elsie begged. "Harder! Yes... Oh yes... Right there.. Oh don't stop... Ohhh... Mmmm." And her head tipped back as her eyes rolled up and shut, her second orgasm consuming her.

Charles came with her, hovering over her and placing light kisses across her chest. "My love... My life.." Elsie pulled his head onto her chest and he could hear the rapid beat of her heart pounding steadily. His heart, he thought, for it belonged to him.

...

"Charles! Could you be a dear and bring me a towel?" Elsie yelled from the tub. Charles came back from the open window and picked up a discarded towel from the armchair. He happily made his way to the bathroom, very eager to serve his lady. And also to get one last glimpse of her beautiful naked body before she dressed and they headed back to Downton. He paused outside the door, thinking to himself that for the first time in his life, he was not so eager to get back to his "home". Was it really his home anymore? It seems that he was just as happy, if not more so, here with Elsie. Anywhere with Elsie. She really was his home. He began to envision a home of their own and he could not pull himself back from thinking it was one of the most glorious prospects he could ever hope for. Would a room or two at Downton be enough? Only time will tell, he thought wistfully.

"Charles?" Elsie said loudly. "Did you do a runner on me darling?" She teased.

"Never!" Charles said loudly, jumping up behind her in the bath.

Elsie jerked in surprise, splashing water all over the floor. "Mr. Carson!" She cried loudly in surprise, then laughed at her formality.

"Mrs. Hughes.." He said very formally, raising an eyebrow. "Must I always catch you out in a tub? Why are you such a naughty housekeeper?" Elsie giggled, embarrassed at his bringing up their encounter in the washroom at Downton. Charles saw that her cheeks turned pink and added. "Might I add, that was one of the most beautiful sights I've ever had the pleasure of witnessing."

"Charles." Elsie scoffed. "Honestly, that's a bit embarrassing now."

"After everything we've done, you would be embarrassed about that?" Charles questioned her, slightly confused.

"Well... Yes. Those moments alone are...well...meant to be private." Elsie said sheepishly. "How would you feel if I caught you doing the same?"

"Ahhhh.. I see your point, my love." Charles agreed, smiling down at her in the water. He kneeled down next to the tub and took her hand in his, kissing it gently, looking at her imploringly. "Elsie? Would you do it for me if I asked?"

Elsie's eyes widened in surprise. "Why, Mr. Carson. You are a dark horse." Elsie teased him and he took her hand dragging it beneath the bubbles and moving it to her center. He used their combined hands to move slowly, but firmly against her. Elsie leaned her head back against the tub and a sigh escaped her lips. Charles removed his hand as she continued to rub steadily against herself. Charles watched her beneath the water. The ripples on the surface lapping across her beautiful breasts.

"Come for me, Elsie." Charles whispered as he bent over her and kissed her lips hungrily. Elsie wrapped her free hand around his head, pulling his lips tightly against hers as she climaxed in the warmth of the tub, her muscles so soft and relaxed.

"Mark my words, Charles Carson. You will have your turn as well someday." Elsie said smiling coyly as she kissed him again. Charles laughed and lifted her right out the tub. Carrying her straight to the bed, where they made mad passionate love long into the afternoon.

...

"Elsie! Elsie! Wake up! Get up dear!" A frantic Charles shook Elsie's shoulders gently. "We fell asleep. We may have missed the last train!" Charles was frantically moving around the darkened room, trying desperately to find all his items.

"Charles." Elsie spoke soothingly. "Calm down. There is nothing we can do."

"Nothing we can do! Nothing we can do! Woman, have you lost your good sense?!" Charles barked sharply. "We are expected back at the house this evening. We will never make it back in time!"

"Now, Charles Carson! I will not be spoken to in that manner! You will sit down on this bed this instant!" Charles quickly came to his senses as he heard Elsie's thick Scottish accent pouring down on him. He went and sat at the edge of the bed. "Listen to me Charles. You yourself said, his Lordship did not expect us back until tonight...At the earliest! What is all this fuss about?"

"I panicked. You know me, Mrs. Hu.. Elsie. You know that it may take some time for me to shake some of my rules and rigid ways of thinking." Charles said looking down at their joined hands.

"I do indeed." Elsie spoke kindly at first. "What I don't appreciate is being disrespected. And I'm sorry to point this out, Charles. But your rules and rigid ways certainly have not stopped us from enjoying the past two days... And hopefully tonight as well."

"You are right as usual, my love. Let me run downstairs and phone his Lordship." Charles said, placing a kiss to her hand. "Then I will be back with a lovely dinner for my lady, and spend the rest of the evening making up for my deplorable behavior." Charles winked at her and headed out the door.

Elsie shook her head and smiled. "My man..." She sighed out loud to herself, before lying back down and snuggling into the fluffy, white, bed...

_I swear! No more hold ups. After all, they can't live in this room forever...can they? Haha ;) Next chapter, they'll be going home. I hope you enjoyed this silly little M bit. I see major angst in the future...we'll see? Please review if you like me even a little bit ;) I love to hear from you! Mona xoxo_


	27. Chapter 27

_Mild M smut warnng at the very end..._

_Wow! Having a very busy few days over here! Between the shopping, parties, and preparations...I am beat! Christmas has officially kicked my butt! I hope you are enjoying your holidays, and I wish you a very Merry Christmas. Love to you all, Mona xoxo_

They ate their dinner of a hearty stew and freshly baked scones covered in a generous amount of cheese. Both were famished from their day, and Charles was very pleased to see Elsie eating so heartily. He smiled as she tore the scone apart and dipped it into her stew. Every single action she made, being completely adorable and fascinating to him. She drank steadily at her wine glass, gazing at him over the rim. She smiled happily and he enjoyed this small piece of heaven he was offered. His love for her so overwhelmed him he couldn't imagine how he would possibly endure not having her at his side, or in his bed, for the next few weeks. She was wrapped in the sheet and sitting against the headboard. Her knees pulled up and her stew bowl perched in her lap. Her long, messy, curls hung about her shoulders and her eyes were wide and happy. He had never seen her look so lovely. Not even when she first came to Downton. The smile she wore now could light up the heavens at night.

After dinner they found themselves once again curled into each other's arms. "Charles?" Elsie said softly, the r in his name rolling in her thick, sleepy, brogue. She wrapped her arm tighter around him and snuggled deeper into his embrace.

"Yes, Elsie." His deep voice rumbled through his chest, vibrating her cheek as it lay upon him.

"We really haven't talked much since we've been here." Elsie said, slightly tentative about raising issues that could become problems for them.

"Yes, well we have kept ourselves busy. Have we not?" Charles teased lightly, stroking his fingers through her hair as it cascaded down her back.

Elsie smiled against his chest. "And it's been absolutely perfect, love." She paused momentarily before adding. "It's just that... Do you realize the banns will be read in the morning? We will not even be there, Charles."

"I think it will be alright." Charles stated plainly, before teasing her. "Unless of course you have a secret husband I'm not aware of."

"But that's just it, Charles." Elsie responded quietly.

Charles sat up against the headboard abruptly, knocking Elsie from his chest in the process. "That's just what?" Charles spit out frantically.

Elsie sat up and held the white sheets against her torso. Looking at Charles' shocked face she burst out into fits of laughter. "Charles Carson! That is not how I meant it!" She said between loud giggles, tears falling from her eyes. She laid her hand upon his chest lovingly. "I meant, we will no longer be a secret. Everyone will know of our intent to wed."

"And you do not think they would have already heard it from Thomas, Beryl, or Anna?" Charles chuckled and pulled her into his arms. "Come now, you cannot honestly believe the whole household hadn't been informed by that very evening?"

"I suppose you are right. It's just. Now that they now about us...well, what in heavens will they think when we return after two nights away? Oh, Charles. I'm afraid we didn't think this through properly." Elsie's voice began to go up a pitch. "How will I look my maids in the eye? How can I tell them not to behave in this way, when I myself have done so? Am I hypocrite Charles?"

Charles pulled her up on his chest, turning her to face him. "You are the most honorable woman I have ever known. What we have is true and honest. My dear, we will be married in just three weeks time. I will not wait any longer. I will not have you feeling sullen and guilty by this. Do you understand that you are everything to me love?"

"I do Charles. I do." Elsie kissed him softly on the lips, hoping she hadn't wounded his heart. "You are everything to me." She parted her mouth against his and traced his lips with her tongue. He moaned and parted his in response, matching her delicious teasing with his own. She ran her hands up around his head, pulling him even deeper into her kiss. Before he was lost to her divine attentions, he rolled them both over. Hovering over Elsie, and gazing deeply into her eyes.

"I want to retire." The words were out of him before he even knew he spoke them.

"Charles!" Elsie gasped, completely shocked by his revelation. "Are you certain? Where did this come from?" Charles rolled off her and back against the headboard. He sighed and rubbed his hand across his forehead and eyes. He didn't respond to her questioning and his fingers went to squeeze the bridge of his nose. He would not look at her. "Charles?" Elsie asked softly. "Why?"

He let out another long sigh. "I do not know." He lied, not sure how to put his want into words.

"Charles, please?" Elsie whispered imploringly.

"Because Elsie!" He said rather harshly. "I'm not sure if I can do it anymore!" He stopped himself and rubbed at his eyes again, softening as he looked at her face, so full of confusion. "I'm sorry, so sorry love. What I'm trying, and failing to say, is that I want you and you alone. I am not willing to share you or my time left with you. I don't want our life to be contained to a shared room for a handful of hours a night. I want this!" He said gesturing between and around them. "I want you all to myself. I want to be the master of my own life. Well, I at least want you to be the master of our lives." He smiled and leaned forward to kiss her. "I just want a life with you. A real life, where I can kiss you in our halls. Hold you close upon our settee. Hold your hand at our dinner table. Make love to you anywhere I please. Is it wrong? Am I a terribly ungrateful and selfish, old man?"

Tears had formed in Elsie's eyes and began to slowly trickle down her cheeks. "Oh Charles!" Elsie sobbed and fell forward into his arms. "That is all I ever wanted. I just never dreamed you would want to leave your home and family."

Charles took her upper arms and pulled her back from him. "You, Elsie Carson, are my family. You are my home."

"Oh Charles. I do so love to hear that name upon your lips." Elsie's sweet smile captured his heart, and Charles pulled her in tightly to him.

"Come here, Mrs. Carson. My Mrs. Carson. My gorgeous darling." He said adoringly, placing kisses along her jawline and down her neck. "Elsie I'm blissfully happy we're here. Not just in this room, but in this very moment. I'm so deeply in love with you. I've always wanted you. I also knew, the moment I let myself really love you, there would be no going back. I am completely yours, my darling girl. I will follow you to the ends of the earth, obeying your every whim and command." He nipped gently at the spot behind her ear and Elsie felt chills race down her spine.

"My every whim and command?" Elsie giggled brightly as she let the sheet drop and climbed over him, happily straddling his lap. She could feel his hardness beneath her, and rocked her hips against him teasingly. Charles watched her breasts swaying in front of him, reaching up with both hands to cup them. His thumbs brushed gently across her nipples. "Charles.. Promise me it always be like this?" Elsie said softly as she continued her torturous grinding.

"I promise, love." Charles softly kissed her lips. "I promise to love you, cherish you, and be the most attentive and adoring husband ever. We do have a lot of time to make up for. When I think of all those wasted years.."

"Shhhh." Elsie pressed her fingers to his lips. "No regrets love. Remember? Only now." And she leaned into him, pressing her breasts firmly to his chest as she kissed and nibbled on his waiting lips.

Tortured by Elsie's delicious movements, Charles grabbed her hips in his large hands and tried to maneuver her over his hard and throbbing erection. Elsie stayed in place, slowly rocking and teasing, as she smiled playfully down at him. "Wicked little minx!" Charles teased back. "Two can play at this game." He smirked at her before sitting up and flipping her onto her back under him. He stayed on all fours, hovering over her like an animal would its prey. Their teasing had taken on a desperate and lust filled fire.

"So big and strong, aren't you my man?" Elsie's deep brogue purred up at him as she ran he hands along his solid muscular arms. She then drug her nails sharply down his chest and stomach until she reached her goal, moaning softly. "So very big and strong."

_Reviews are always appreciated...and make me very happy :) xo_


	28. Chapter 28

_**Smut Warning! More "M" :)**_

_Sorry for the deplorable lack of updates during the Holidays :(. I've been so incredibly busy, but hopefully that will end soon. I'm glad I was able to update tonight (this morning), and I will hopefully have something up this evening. I have several Fics "in the works", but would like to finish this up nicely before I start any more. As always, I appreciate a your reviews more than you can imagine! Lots of love, Mona xoxo_

The darkness of the night found Charles and Elsie wrapped tightly in each others arms. Their passionate lovemaking fueled by their mutual desire to make the most of their last night alone at the inn. When the light finally broke through the thin curtains and illuminated the shadows of the room, they both slowly opened their eyes. Locked in each others embrace they gazed steadily at one another, a pensive sadness enveloping them. Charles softly pressed his lips to Elsie's forehead, her nose, her lips. He stared so deeply into her eyes. Elsie felt as if she could drown in her love for him. Charles pressed his lips to hers once more, whispering deeply. "I love you to the depths of my soul. In all of my life I will never forget the way I feel in this very moment."

"Oh Charles." Elsie cooed softly, tears filling her eyes as she leaned in to caress her lips so gently against his. "My darling man. We can make forever feel this way." Her lips were a gently whispering against his. So tender and full of love and devotion. They held each other, their kisses different this time. The strength of their love for one another almost painful. Elsie watched as her big and strong man's eyes, filled with tears. They knew this was both the the ending, and the beginning for them. Their lives would never be the same from this day on. They had made their love known, they had consummated the relationship that had been burning between them for twenty years. And now they would be starting a new life together. She would be his wife, and he her husband. They would answer to no one but each other. They would finally have their other way..together. Just how it was meant to be.

Charles kissed away Elsie's tears before moving back to her sweet lips. The desire building steadily inside him was so pure, a desire to be one with Elsie. To mate their souls together so completely, they could never be parted. He kissed her deeply as rolled his body over onto hers. Elsie felt his solid weight pressing her into the mattress. A warmth spread through her from the inside out, as her fingers stroked softly through the silver of his hair. Their every movement so tender and loving. Their eyes never leaving one another's. The intensity of the connection leaving them feeling so completely full and overwhelmed. They lips met again, parting to slowly tease and taste one another. Their slow, passionate kissing causing shivers to race down Elsie's spine. She trembled under Charles and he pulled back to look at her once more, his lips trailing down her neck. He licked and sucked gently at the sensitive skin, making his way down to her full, round, breasts. Elsie's small fingers drug through his silver waves as she held him tightly to her. She moaned in pleasure as he sucked firmly at her small pink nipples, his tongue flicking over each swollen bud. His kisses continued their path down the soft, pale, skin of her belly. He paused just above the dark curls of her center and breathed her name again, whispering his love for her. Charles tongue ran down her center, so wet and wanting. She cried out and arched her hips in the air as he pressed his lips firmly down on her, his tongue pushing and teasing, his lips suckling, his teeth gently grazing. She felt herself lose control of her body as she began writhing and thrusting under him. A deep pleasure building so hard and steady. She felt herself stop breathing, the loss of oxygen heightening the desperation of her body in it's need to release. Elsie slowly began to shake and Charles pulled himself up her body, thrusting himself into her tight, throbbing, center. The sensation of her oncoming release and Charles entering her, drove her over the edge, she finally let out a gasping breath before screaming his name so loudly Charles was certain every guest in the inn had heard.

"Charles! Charles! Yes! Oh Charles!" Elsie cried loudly as he smiled down at her.

Charles thrust in and out of her squirming body as he watched her slowly come back to him. When her eyes met his, he lowered his lips down to her again. "I want to make you feel that way every day, for the rest of our lives."

"Oh Charles." Elsie gasped, kissing him fully on the lips and he moved inside her. "That was amazing... I love you so much... Oh Charles... My man."

Charles kissed her with a new vigor after hearing her call him "her man". He pushed into her harder and faster. Then, pulling upright on his knees, he lifted both her legs up so they rested against his chest and shoulders. This new angle caused them both to moan and sigh in unison. Charles bent his head to kiss along the inside of her muscled calf. He reached down between them and slowly rubbed tight circles on the swollen nub at her center as he drove into her. Pleasure began to burst through Elsie once again, leaving her quivering beneath him as he found his thunderous release. Charles shuddered, sliding Elsie's legs back down he rested himself between them, his head lying at her breast. They lay like this for a long while. Basking in the pleasure of their lovemaking and connection.

Elsie began stroking Charles' thick hair. Her fingers softly stroking him, lovingly caressing along his face. Charles turned his lips into her body, kissing the delicious valley between her large breasts. Elsie spoke first, her sweet Scottish lilt soft and sad. "We should get ready soon, love. Our train leaves at noon."

"I know." Charles replied sadly, moving up to lie next to her on the bed. He propped up onto his elbow and looked down into her adoring face, his hand stroking gently across her abdomen. "Soon, my darling. Soon it will always be like this. Just you and me."

Elsie reached up and cupped his face with her small hand. "Just you and me." She said softly.  
...

After once again utilizing the very large bathtub, Charles and Elsie left a large tip for the Innkeeper and headed out the door. Charles stopped in the doorway and stared into the room. He was memorizing everything. He never wanted to let go of this moment, or lose this memory. He could never forget the place where he first made love to his beautiful Elsie. The woman who had owned his heart for longer than he could remember. The only woman to have ever truly held his heart. Charles took Elsie's arm and pulled her tightly to him, smiling down at her. "One day, we will come back here and relive these perfect days. I promise you."

"I will hold you to that, Mr. Carson." She said teasingly, giggling at herself.

They made their way to the station and with little fuss, boarded the train back to Downton. They quietly sat side by side on the train. Neither taking the others hand or offering any sign of a physical relationship between the two. The train to Downton often carried more than one recognizable face. The last thing they needed was for gossip to spread about the village. Although, knowing the Banns had been read just that morning during mass, they were both silently thinking of the repercussions. Would the village assume they had a relationship all along? How receptive would the family be about their decision to retire? Charles had told her not to worry, but in actuality, the closer they got to Downton, the harder it was for him to remain steady about the whole thing. His nerves were beginning to overtake him, when he heard a soft sigh and felt Elsie's head fall against his arm. The gentle rocking of the train slowly lulling her to sleep. Charles kissed the top of her head and rested his own against hers. He knew as long as they were together, they would be fine.


End file.
